双语合成：真金白人 Subtitles：Jazzzheng
"怎样都行"
That's not what I'm saying, you imbecile.
我可没那么说啊 你这笨蛋
God, you completely misrepresent my ideas!
天 你完全曲解我的意思了!
Why am I even bothering talking to such idiots?
我干嘛要在这对牛弹琴?
- Boris, calm down. - No, don't tell me to... I am calm.
- Boris 冷静 - 不 别跟我说... 我够冷静的了
Don't jump on us just because we don't understand what you're saying.
别因为我们听不懂你的话 就大发雷霆
I didn't jump on you.
我没斥责你们
It's not the idea behind Christianity I'm faulting, or Judaism, or any religion.
无论是基督教 犹太教 还是什么其他宗教 我都没搞错
It's the professionals who've made it into a corporate business.
是那些内部人士逐渐将宗教商业化
There's big money in the God racket. Big money.
宗教诈骗 可以捞上一大笔钱 一大笔
- Here we go. - We know, Boris.
- 得了 - 我们知道了 Boris
Hey, the basic teachings of Jesus are quite wonderful.
嘿 耶稣的基本教义是万世经典
So, by the way, is the original intention of Karl Marx. Okay?
那么 对了 这也是卡尔 马克思的初衷吧?
Hey, what could be bad? Everybody should share equally.
嘿 能有什么错呢? 人人平均分配
Do unto others. Democracy. Government by the people.
我为人人 民主制 人民之政府
All great ideas. These are all great ideas,
伟大的思想 都是伟大的思想
but they all suffer from one fatal flaw.
但是它们全都有个致命的弱点
- Which is? - Yeah, what's that?
- 就是? - 是什么呢?
Which is they're all based on the fallacious notion...
那就是它们都建立在一个...
that people are fundamentally decent.
认为人性本善的谬论上
Give them a chance to do right and they'll take it.
以为给他们机会做好事 他们便会珍惜
They're not stupid, selfish, greedy, cowardly, short-sighted worms.
以为他们不是愚蠢 自私 贪婪 胆小 目光短浅的蠕虫
They do the best they can.
他们已经尽力了
Speak for yourself, man. Speak for yourself.
说你自己那样就得了 伙计 得了吧
All I'm saying is that people make life so much worse than it has to be...
我想说的是 人类做的一切都是自讨苦吃
and, believe me, it's a nightmare without their help.
相信我 没他们的帮助 这简直就是场噩梦
But on the whole, I'm sorry to say, we're a failed species.
但总的来说 很遗憾 我们是失败的种群
- I wouldn't go that far. - Not Ed.
- 我才不是那样的呢 - Ed(男性生殖器勃起)除外
That's why this woman you like, Joe,
那就是你为什么喜欢那个女人 Joe
so what if she's an embalmer's assistant, so she stinks from formaldehyde?
那 要是她是一个尸体防腐师的助理 浑身散发着甲醛的恶臭呢?
For Christ's sake, you got to take what little pleasure you can find
看在上帝的份上 在那毛骨悚然的房子里
in this chamber of horrors.
你找不到半点乐子
A little formaldehyde, okay, but she reeks of it.
也就一丁点甲醛 好吧 可她身上有那味儿
You know, they don't know your story. Boris, tell them your story.
他们不知道你的故事吧 Boris 告诉他们吧
My story is, whatever works. You know, as long as you don't hurt anybody.
我的故事就是 怎样都行 只要不伤害到任何人
Any way you can filch a little joy
在这残酷无情 弱肉强食
in this cruel, dog-eat-dog, pointless, black chaos. That's my story.
毫无意义 混混沌沌的世间偷闲享乐 这就是我的故事
No. That's not... Tell them the story.
不 那不是... 告诉他们你的故事
- Tell them. - Yeah. Tell them.
- 说吧 - 对啊 说嘛
You just want me to say it again, so they can hear.
你只是想要我再说一遍 那样他们也可以听到
- Who? - Them.
- 谁? - 他们
- Who? - Who's them?
- 谁啊? - 他们是谁?
- You see something out there? - Where?
- 你在那边看到什么东西了? - 哪啊?
What are you? An imbecile?
你是个什么东西啊? 白痴吗?
There's an audience full of people looking at us.
那有一大群观众正看着我们呢
- An audience? - What's he talking about?
- 观众? - 他胡说些什么啊?
You feel you're being watched.
你觉得你正被人关注着
They paid good money for tickets, hard-earned money,
他们花了大价钱买票 都是血汗钱啊
so some moron in Hollywood can buy a bigger swimming pool.
所以某个好莱坞傻冒才能买更大的游泳池
Okay, you're saying there are human beings out there who bought tickets to watch us.
好吧 你是说那边有一群人 买了票来看我们
Well, mostly they're interested in me, I have to say.
呃 坦白说呢 他们多半是来捧我的场
Yeah, they're just sitting there. Don't you see them?
是啊 他们就坐在那 难道你们没看见吗?
Some are eating popcorn, some are just staring straight ahead
有些人在吃着爆米花 有些人目光呆滞地看着前面
breathing through their mouths like Neanderthals.
像野蛮人那样呼吸着
So they're there to listen to your story?
那么 他们是在听你的故事?
- Total delusions of grandeur. - Completely.
- 完全是痴人说梦 - 没错
Why would you want to hear my story?
为什么你们想听我的故事?
Do we know each other? Do we like each other?
我们认识吗? 我们相互欣赏吗?
Let me tell you right off, okay?
让我现在就来告诉你吧?
I'm not a likeable guy. Charm has never been a priority with me.
我可不是个讨人喜欢的人 魅力从来就跟我搭不上边
And just so you know, this is not the feel-good movie of the year.
正如你知道的 在今年 这算不上是部令人愉悦的电影
So if you're one ofthose idiots who needs to feel good,
那么 如果你也和那群蠢蛋一样 寻求愉悦
go get yourself a foot massage.
干脆去做个足部按摩吧
- Mom, that man's talking to himself! - Come away, Justin.
- 妈妈 那个男人在自言自语! - 快走啦 Justin
What the hell does it all mean anyhow? Nothing. Zero. Zilch.
这一切到底有什么意义? 一场空 毫无意义
Nothing comes to anything, and yet there's no shortage of idiots to babble.
万事皆空 可还是有那么多草包在庸人自扰
Not me. I have a vision. I'm discussing you.
我可不是 我是有远见卓识的人 我在说你们呢
Your friends, your co-workers, your newspapers, the TV.
你朋友 你同事 你看的报纸 电视
Everybody's happy to talk, full of misinformation.
每个人都喜欢聊天 谣言满天飞
Morality, science, religion, politics, sports, love.
道德 科学 宗教 政治 体育 爱情
Your portfolio, your children, health. Christ.
你的公文包 你的小孩 健康 基督
If I have to eat nine servings offruits and vegetables a day to live,
如果我每天要靠吃9份水果和蔬菜来度日
I don't want to live. I hate goddamn fruits and vegetables.
我一点都不想活了 我恨透了那该死的水果和蔬菜
And your omega-3's and the treadmill and the cardiogram
还有你那欧米茄3号营养物 跑步机 心电图
and the mammogram and the pelvic sonogram
乳腺造影 骨盆声波图
and, oh, my God, the colonoscopy!
还有 我的天哪 大肠镜检查
And with it all, the day still comes when they put you in a box
之类种种 终有一天你还是免不了进棺材
and it's on to the next generation of idiots
然后下一代白痴们 又周而复始
who'll also tell you all about life and define for you what's appropriate.
他们仍会告诉你关于生活的种种 以及怎样的生活适合你
My father committed suicide because the morning newspapers depressed him.
我的父亲是自杀的 就因为早报让他心灰意冷
And could you blame him?
这能怪他吗?
With the horror and corruption and ignorance and poverty...
报纸上全是关于恐怖 腐败 愚昧 贫穷...
and genocide and AIDS and global warming and terrorism...
还有种族屠杀 艾滋 全球变暖 恐怖主义...
and the family-value morons and the gun morons!
以及家族纷争 枪击事件!
"The horror", Kurtz said at the end of Heart of Darkness". "The horror".
"恐怖" 库尔茨在 "黑暗之心" 的结尾说道 "恐怖"
Lucky Kurtz didn't have the Times delivered in the jungle,
幸好 没有早报会被送到库尔茨的森林
then he'd see some horror.
要不然 他就真见识了什么是恐怖
But what do you do?
但你会做什么?
You read about some massacre in Darfur...
当你读到发生在达尔富尔的大屠杀...
or some school bus gets blown up, and you go, "Oh, my God, the horror!"
或学校大巴的爆炸事件 然后你说 "噢 天哪 多恐怖啊!"
And then you turn the page and finish your eggs from free-range chickens.
然后你翻过那页 吃完你那散养鸡生的蛋
Because what can you do? It's overwhelming.
因为你能做什么呢? 那是大势所趋
I tried to commit suicide myself.
我曾自杀过
Obviously, it didn't work out.
不用说 没成功
But why'd you even wanna hear about all this?
但你为什么还想听这些?
Christ, you got your own problems.
天 你有你自己的问题
I'm sure you're all obsessed with any number of sad little hopes and dreams.
我确信 你们都被很多渺茫的希望所困扰着
Your predictably unsatistying love lives. Your failed business ventures.
情场失意 败得一塌糊涂的商业投机
"Oh, if only I'd bought that stock!"
"噢 要是我买了那支股票该多好!"
"If only I had purchased that house years ago!"
"要是我几年前买了那房子该多好!"
"If only I had made a move on that woman".
"要是我追了那个女人该多好".
Ifthis, ifthat. You know what?
早知这 早知那 你懂什么啊?
Give me a break with your "could haves" and "should haves".
别老拿你那喋喋不休的悔恨来烦我了
Like my mother used to say,
正如我妈妈常说的
"If my grandmother had wheels, she'd be a trolley car".
"要是我祖母长着轮子 她就会是有轨电车".
My mother didn't have wheels. She had varicose veins.
我妈妈没有轮子 她的腿有静脉曲张
Still, the woman gave birth to a brilliant mind.
虽然如此 她却生了个天才
I was considered for a Nobel Prize in physics.
我曾被提名诺贝尔物理学奖
I didn't get it.
我落选了
But, you know, it's all politics, just like every other phony honor.
但是 你知道 都是耍政治手腕的 就像其他假荣誉一样
Incidentally, don't think I'm bitter because of some personal setback.
顺便说下 别以为我会因为个人挫折而心酸
By the standards of a mindless, barbaric civilization,
按照愚蠢野蛮的文明标准
I've been pretty lucky.
我已经够幸运了
I was married to a beautiful woman, who had family money.
我娶了个出身豪门的漂亮老婆
For years we lived on Beekman Place.
我们住在Beekman多年
I taught at Columbia. String theory.
我在哥伦比亚大学当老师 教弦理论
What's the matter, Boris?
怎么了 Boris?
I'm dying!
我要死了!
What is it?
怎么了?
I'm dying!
我要死了!
Should I call an ambulance?
要我叫救护车吗?
No! No, not now! No, not tonight! I mean, eventually!
不! 不 不是现在! 不 不是今天! 我是说 最终!
- Boris, everybody dies. - It's unacceptable!
- Boris 每个人都会死 - 真是难以接受!
Your panic attacks are getting more frequent and more intense.
你的焦虑症越来越频繁 越来越严重了
You have to go back on your medicine.
你得回去拿药吃
I'm not going back on my goddamn medicine.
我才不要吃那该死的药呢
I won't have my mind befuddled by chemicals
我才不要让化学药品迷糊了我的思想
when I'm the only one who sees the whole picture for exactly what it is.
因为世人皆醉 唯我独醒
Where's the goddamn vodka?
天杀的 伏特加酒哪去了?
Boris, I have clients to see tomorrow morning.
Boris 我明早还要去见客户
- It is 4:00 a. m.! - Clients. Right. Wealthy bankers.
- 现在是凌晨四点! - 客户 好吧 阔银行家
To design their chic apartment, to fill it full of art and expensive possessions,
精心设计别墅 填满艺术奢侈品
so they can flaunt their money
以此来显摆他们的阔气
and be in the top 1% ofthis shameful, violent, prejudiced,
并且得以在这个可耻的 暴力的 满是偏见的
illiterate, sexually repressed, self-righteous nation!
愚昧的 性压抑的 自以为是的民族中 跻身前1%!
Christ, it is 4:00 a. m. Can you spare me this sophomoric tirade!
天哪 已经四点了! 饶了我吧 别说那堆空洞的长篇大论了
I'm a man with a huge worldview. I'm surrounded by microbes!
我是高瞻远瞩的伟人 其他人都是微生物!
And what about me? Am I a microbe? Is our son at Yale a microbe?
我也是? 我是微生物? 我们耶鲁大学的儿子也是?
Let's face it, Jessica, okay?
面对现实吧 Jessica 好吗?
Our marriage hasn't been a garden of roses.
我们的婚姻并不是个玫瑰园
Botanically speaking, you're more of a Venus flytrap.
从植物性的角度上讲 你顶多是棵捕蝇草
You are a very difficult man to live with.
和你生活在一起真痛苦
- Is that why you had an affeir? - I didn't have an affeir.
- 所以你就搞外遇? - 我没搞外遇
It was a brief interlude of infidelity, and it happened years ago.
那段外遇只是小小的插曲 况且是多年前的事了
You still can't forget it!
你仍忘不了它!
I see everything so clearly now. Everything!
我现在什么事都明白了 任何事!
- I married you for all the wrong reasons. - What's that supposed to mean?
- 我娶了你 真是天大的错 - 什么意思?
You're brilliant. I wanted someone to talk to.
你很聪明 我想找个人来倾吐心声
You loved classical music, you loved art, you loved literature.
你热爱古典乐 你爱艺术 你爱文学
You loved sex! You loved me!
你也爱性! 你也爱我!
Those sound like pretty good reasons to me!
我觉得这都是些很好的理由!
Yes! Exactly! That's the problem! That's the problem!
是! 没错! 问题就在这! 就在这!
It was rational, it made sense!
那是理智的 是有意义的!
I don't know what went wrong.
我不知道哪出错了
When you examine it, there is so much right about us.
你回头看时 会发现我们还是很合得来的
On paper we're ideal.
理论上 我们是完美的
But life isn't on paper.
但是生活并非理论
Boris? Boris, what are you doing?
Boris? Boris 你干嘛?
Close the window!
关上窗户!
Boris!
Can you believe I hit the canopy? I hit the goddamn canopy.
你信我撞天棚了吗? 我就是撞了那该死的天棚
Months in the hospital! Moron doctors! Look. Look at this limp.
在医院住了几个月! 笨蛋医生! 看啊 我腿都瘸了
I never had a limp before.
我以前腿脚好着呢
Meanwhile, I divorced Jessica, moved downtown and gave up.
同时 我和Jessica离婚了 搬到市区 放弃了一切
I eke out a meager living teaching chess to incompetent zombies.
我靠教一些没天分的脑残下象棋 得以餬口
Checkmate, you little patzer.
将军 你够差劲的
Hey! He's only 8 years old, Mr. Yellnikoff.
嘿 他只是个8岁小孩 Yellnikoff先生
You're supposed to be teaching him...
你是来教他的...
He'll be an incompetent idiot at 58.
就算他到58岁 也还是个呆头呆脑的草包
More important than how I make my living, is why I bother to live at all.
比我如何活着更重要的是 为什么我还赖活着
Nights, I have trouble sleeping and hang out on Mott Street,
晚上 我睡不着 就到Mott街去逛逛
trying to explain to cretins that while a black man got into the White House...
试着跟那群饭桶解释 一个黑人进得了白宫...
he still can't get a cab in New York.
但他在纽约却拦不到出租车
Almost 100 years after the abolition of slavery,
废除奴隶制已近一百年了
a man couldn't play a game of baseball in the big leagues...
如果这个人的肤色是黑的...
if his skin color was black.
他就不能在一流的联队里打篮球
You're harping on one point.
你对此总是唠叨个没完
Oh, good. Okay, forget blacks. Take Jews.
噢 好吧 不说黑人了 说说犹太人
- What? - Here we go.
- 什么? - 开始吧
For years they restricted the number of Jews in schools, medical schools.
多年来 他们限制犹太人受教育的人数 医药教育
In America, as much as they hated blacks,
在美国 跟痛恨黑人相比
they hate Jews even more.
他们更恨犹太人
Blacks they were scared had too big a penis.
黑人有一点让他们畏惧 那就是大阴茎
Jews they hated, even with little penises.
而他们讨厌的犹太人 阴茎小得可怜
For God's sake, I'm eating here.
看上帝的份上 我正吃东西呢
You! I've been looking for you.
你! 我一直找你呢!
- I wanna talk to you. - Who are you?
- 我要跟你谈谈 - 你谁呀?
Did you... did you pick up a chessboard full of pieces...
你... 你是不是今天上课的时候...
and hit my son with it at his lesson today?
拿满是棋子的棋盘砸我儿子了?
That idiot's your son?
那傻子就是你儿子?
Do me a favor, don't send that cretin to me anymore.
拜托 叫那白痴别来上课了
I can't teach an empty-headed zombie chess.
我教不了那脑袋空空的饭桶下象棋
I'll have you know that he is a very bright child.
我要让你明白 他是个非常聪明的孩子
In your opinion. In your opinion.
你才那么想 你才那么想
Which is skewed, because he's your unfortunate issue.
那是你歪曲了事实 因为他对你来说是个不幸
So you threw a chessboard at him?
那你就向他扔棋盘?
I didn't throw it at him.
我可没扔
I picked up the board and dumped the pieces on his head...
我只是拿起棋盘 把棋子倒他头上...
as an object lesson to shake him outta his vegetable torpor.
就当是教学实践 让他从植物般的麻木中醒过来
You wait until my husband gets back from Florida.
你给我等着 等老公要从福罗里达回来
- What's he doing in Florida without you? - He will punch you in the nose.
- 他离开你去福罗里达干嘛? - 他会一拳打到你鼻子上
Her husband's in Fort Lauderdale.
她老公在劳德代尔堡
He's probably hanging out with naked coeds on spring break.
他有可能在和放春假的女学生们鬼混呢
He tells her it's a business trip.
他跟她说是出差
Your son's an imbecile. Teach him tiddlywinks, not chess.
你儿子是个蠢货 教他玩挑圆片得了 象棋就算了
You handled that beautifully, Boris.
你的招够绝的呀 Boris
You know, you should open the Boris Yellnikoff Charm School.
要知道 你应该去开个Boris Yellnikoff魔法学堂
Let's get outta here. It's late. I'm tired.
我们要走了 很晚了 我也累了
Good night, Boris.
晚安 Boris
What? What're you doing?
什么? 你们这是干什么?
Hey, where're you going? That's it?
嘿 你们要去哪? 就这样吗?
- Sir? - Hey! What?
- 先生? - 嘿! 怎么了?
What... what the hell're you doing? My God, you scared me. For God's sake!
你... 你搞什么鬼啊? 天哪 你吓死我了 看上帝的份上!
You creep up on me like that, you little vagrant. What'd you want?
你那样悄悄的过来 你这小无赖 你想干嘛?
Can you help me get something to eat?
你能我点吃的东西吗?
Oh, God, no, I don't carry any money, now, come on,
噢 天 不 我身上一毛钱都没带 现在 行了
you can tell that to your partner, wherever he's hiding.
跟你同伴说去吧 不管他藏在哪
- Please, I'm so hungry! - Back up! Back up!
- 求你了 我饿得不行了! - 回去! 别过来!
I haven't had anything to eat all day, I think I'm gonna faint.
我已经一整天没东西了 都快饿晕了
Yeah, listen, I'm wise to that scam, little girl, okay?
听着 你这点小伎俩骗不了我 小姑娘 好吗?
I know about professional beggar school.
我知道职业乞丐的培训学校
Please, I'm desperate.
求你了 我真的快不行了
God, stop that! You look terrible! What's wrong with you?
天哪 别咳了! 你的样子真狼狈! 怎么了你?
Just... All right.
那...好吧
Come up for two minutes. That's it. And then...
让你上去两分钟 仅此而已 然后...
- And then go. - Thank you!
- 然后就快走 - 谢谢你!
Two minutes, okay? That's it.
就两分钟 行吗? 就这样了
Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you
祝你生日快乐! 祝你生日快乐!
Happy birthday, dear Boris Happy birthday to you
祝你生日快乐 亲爱的Boris! 祝你生日快乐!
Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you
祝你生日快乐! 祝你生日快乐!
Happy birthday, dear Boris Happy birthday to you
祝你生日快乐 亲爱的Boris! 祝你生日快乐!
Is this your birthday?
你今天生日?
You don't know you have to sing Happy Birthday twice to get the germs off?
你还不知道 要高唱生日快乐两遍 才可以消灭细菌?
You said you were starving. What do you like?
你说你饿坏了 你喜欢吃什么?
I like oysters, blackened redfish, gumbo, crab legs, black-eyed...
我喜欢牡蛎 熏制的鲑鱼 秋葵 蟹腿 黑眼...
Are you nuts? What do you think I'm running? A Creole restaurant?
你疯了吧? 你以为我开什么的? 克里奥餐厅吗?
- How about a can of sardines? - Oh, yes, please.
- 沙丁鱼罐头怎样? - 噢 好的 谢谢
Gumbo. So what's your name?
秋葵 你叫什么?
Melody Melody Celestine Melody. Melody Celestine.
Melody Celestine.
Melody Celestine
Melody Saint Anne Celestine Melody SaintAnne Celestine.
It's French. My mama's family was from New Orleans.
法语来的 我妈妈老家在新奥尔良
I'm from Mississippi, Mr...
我来自密西西比 先生...
Muggeridge Lionel Muggeridge Muggeridge. Lionel Muggeridge.
Mr. Muggeridge.
Muggeridge先生
Eden, Mississippi. You ever hear of it?
艾登 密西西比 听过说吗?
No, I haven't. Not even the people who live there have heard of it.
不 没听过 甚至住那的人也不会听过那个地方
So...
那...
So what are you running away from?
你从哪逃来的?
Home.
家
Could you be more specific, Melanie?
能说详细点吗 Melanie?
Melody. Melanie was from Gone with the Wind.
Melody Melanie 是"飘"里面的人物
Oh, yeah. I preferred the one who played Scarlett.
噢 我更喜欢那个演斯嘉丽的人
Why? Melanie was the nice one. She marries Ashley.
为什么? Melanie 是个不错的女人 她嫁了Ashley
Ashley. What an imbecile!
Ashley 那个笨蛋!
I couldn't stand him, I couldn't stand his wife,
我真受不了他 也受不了他老婆
that goody two-shoes, sexual nothing.
伪君子 只懂做爱
Scarlett, bitch that she was, with those green eyes...
Scarlett 小肚鸡肠的贱妇...
You know, I came in first dressed as Scarlett O'Hara in one ofthe pageants.
你知道 我初次来这时的装扮 就和Scarlett O'Hara 参加盛典时一样
Pageant?
盛典?
My mom always used to keep me busy in all these beauty contests.
我妈妈总是要我参加各种选美比赛
That's why I didn't get to schooling much.
那也是我没怎么念书的原因
All right, my advice to you, go back home.
好啦 我给你的建议 就是回家
Oh, no, I'm never going back home.
噢 不 我再也不要回家
You're a brainless little twit who won't last 3 days in New York.
你这没脑子的白痴 在纽约呆不过三天的
You'd be dead now of starvation if I hadn't a heart as big as all outdoors.
要不是我心胸宽广 你早就饿死了
I can't go back home, Mr. Muggeridge.
我不能回家 Muggeridge先生
- Alright, stop calling me Muggeridge. - But that's your name.
- 行了 别叫我Muggeridge先生 - 可那是你名字啊
No, it's not my name. My name is Boris Yellnikoff.
不 那不是我名字 我名字是Boris Yellnikoff
I was using an alias. I thought, who knows,
我说那是我别名 谁知道啊
you might be from the Taliban or something.
你是恐怖分子
Can I stay here?
我能住这儿吗?
Stay here? What're you? Nuts? How old are you?
住这儿? 你脑子进水了吧? 今年多大了?
- 21 - 21? - I'm twenty-one. - Twenty-one? Yeah.
You're twenty-one like I play for the Yankees. Twenty-one!
你要是21岁我还是国家队的呢 21岁!
You're a professional athlete with that limp?
瘸腿还能当运动员?
- Oh, Christ! - Alright, look, I don't wanna go back.
- 神啊! - 听着 我不能回家
Okay? I wanna make a new life here in New York.
听清楚没? 我想在纽约开始新的生活
You'll wind up a prostitute, like those Asian girls...
你最后会沦为妓女 跟那些亚洲女孩一样...
who come here full of high hopes.
她们当初也是满怀希望
And then they wind up turning tricks to keep alive.
却沦落到接客谋生
And many of them are actually good-looking.
她们大多面容姣好
That's so funny you just mentioned tricks, you know, I do magic.
我晕 你竟然扯到接客 我会变魔术的
I do, I can show you, I just need... Do you have any silk handkerchiefs?
我真的会 我可以演给你看 你有没有丝巾?
Yeah, you know, some other time, you're...
知道么 有时我觉得
Look, you're a sweet kid. Stupid beyond all comprehension,
你真是个天真的孩子 无知到不可理喻
but you'll never survive here.
你在这没法生存
You got nothing going for you. Zero. Zilch.
你什么也得不到 一无所有
You know, you may be beauty contest material in the Deep South,
在南部 你或许是美丽的选秀苗子
but this is the big time. Here, you're a three.
但此刻形势比人强 在这里你不过是个三流货色
A five maybe after you bathe.
洗完澡或许好点
Did you get that limp playing for the Yankees?
你真是用那条瘸腿比赛的?
Imbecile child. Brainless inchworm.
小毛孩 没脑子
I didn't play for the Yankees! I was being sarcastic before.
我不是运动员! 刚才是为了讽刺你才那么说的
- Oh, you... I took it seriously. - Yes.
- 你... 我还以为是真的呢 - 是啊
I usually get jokes, at the church's social, I was the comedian twice.
我总是能听懂笑话的 我曾两度是教会的喜剧演员呢
- I've a way with jokes. Yes. - Really?
- 我对笑话很有感觉哦，真的 - 真的假的?
- Spare me and just get out. - No, Mr. Muggeridge...
- 别烦我了 快出去 - 别这样 Muggeridge先生...
Stop calling me Muggeridge, okay? I already explained that!
我说过了 别叫我Muggeridge!
I know, I know. I'm sorry. I just...
我知道 对不起 我只是...
I just need a place to stay for a few nights, till I get on my feet.
我只是想借住几晚 一找到工作我就搬出去
I don't have anywhere to go.
我无处可去了
And if you throw me out and I wind up an Asian prostitute,
如果你不管我 我真只能去当妓女了
that's gonna be on your conscience.
你忍心么
I give up. Sleep on the couch, imbecile.
算怕你了 睡沙发吧 烦人精
I'm too tired to prolong this brutal exchange...
懒得跟你饶舌...
between a bedraggled microbe and a Nobel-level thinker.
我可是诺贝尔奖水平的思想者 怎么能跟你这个蠢货一般见识
- Keep out of my way. - I will, I promise.
- 别乱来 - 我会的 我保证
I'm just gonna use the little girl's to freshen up,
我去趟洗手间 洗漱一下
and then I'm gonna go right to sleep.
然后马上睡觉
Yes, yes, use the little girl's. Freshen up.
是啊是啊 洗漱一下
Don't forget to tip the attendant.
别忘了打扫卫生
- I won't. Thank you so much, Mr. M... - Oh, what?
- 不会的 感谢不尽 M... - 什么?
- You were gonna say Muggeridge again? - No!
- 你又想叫我Muggeridge? - 不!
It's Boris Yellnikoff! You call me Muggeridge one more time,
我是Boris Yellnikoff 你再敢叫我Muggeridge
I'm gonna throw you out the goddamn window.
我就把你扔出去
- Do you mind if I watch a little TV? - Yes, I do, simpleton.
- 我能看一小会电视不? - 不能 我介意
I just like to turn some on at night to unwind.
我只是想放松一下心情
Yeah. You touch that dial, I'll unwind your head...
你敢碰一下遥控 我就用手...
with my bare hands. How about that?
拧下你的脑袋 你试试看?
- Did you hear about Boris? - What?
- 最近和Boris有联系不? - 怎么了?
I tried to call him yesterday and a woman answered the phone.
我昨天给他打电话 是个女人接的诶
No! Who is she?
不是吧! 她是谁?
He got conned into letting some little runaway
一个离家出走的小女孩 可算是吃定他了
bed down in his apartment while she looks for a job and gets settled.
非要住在他公寓里 直到找到工作安定下来为止
Apparently she's never been to New York before
很显然 她第一次来纽约
and she's asked him if he would show her around.
然后她问他能不能带她四处逛逛
- Boris is going to be sightseeing? - Yeah.
- 要Boris当导游? - 对
- Not a chance. - No way.
- 不可能 - 不可能
No way.
简直是天方夜谭
My whole life I've lived in New York, I never wanted to go to Grant's Tomb.
我在纽约住了这么久 却从没想过来格兰特墓
- Now I know why. - Why?
- 现在我知道原因了 - 为什么?
I should never go to a tomb, ever.
我才不要来一个墓地 决不
My mom brought me up to believe that
妈妈从小告诉我
the good Lord has a plan that we're all a part of.
我们都是上帝计划中的一部分
- He has His eye on the sparrow. - Yeah, I pity the sparrow.
- 他的眼睛长在麻雀上 - 好吧 我同情麻雀
I'm not getting into heaven, though. I sinned.
不过我去不了天堂的 我有罪
You? You're kidding. You sinned?
你? 开什么玩笑 你有罪?
I made love before I was married.
我在结婚前就做爱了
Oh, my God.
噢 天哪
Plenty of my friends have, but in my house, that's just unforgivable.
我有很多朋友都这样 但在我家 这是不可原谅的
I just couldn't resist Bobby Klaxon.
我拒绝不了Bobby Klaxon
All right, okay, spare me the details, all right.
好了 别说了 我不想听细节
No, it was really beautiful! I mean, he was just
听我说 真的很美好呢!
this pretty boy guitar player in this amazing rock band.
他可帅了 在超炫的摇滚乐队里当吉他手
I mean, if you think you're a genius, he can double on the drums.
你说你是天才 但他却能打双面鼓呢
- No! Doubles on drums? - Yeah.
- 什么! 双面鼓? - 是啊
All the girls had a crush on him, but he liked me.
所有的女孩都喜欢他 但他只喜欢我
He was so sweet and sensitive,
他是那么温柔善感
and he caught the biggest catfish in Plaquemines County.
他还在Plaquemines郡捉过一条好大好大的鲶鱼
I wondered who caught that catfish.
我才不信是鱼是他捉的
Hey, you know, my mom always told me that it was gonna hurt the first time,
妈妈总说 第一次是会疼的
you know, she said it was, you know,
她是这么说的
it's a woman's duty to just lie down, bear it and...
女人就该在下边 默默忍受...
You know, she said there were a lot of perversions involved,
在宗教里这是堕落的表现
and that, you know,
也就是说
it's God's will, you shouldn't do it
上帝的意旨是 除非是婚后打算要孩子
unless you were married and you planned to have kids and...
否则就不该发生性行为...
She said it could be dangerous, but I just felt like it was
她说婚前性行为会不安全 但我觉得
the most natural thing in the world. You know, it just felt right.
这彷佛是世界上最自然的事 理所当然一般
And all the little extras were just fun. It wasn't complicated at all.
余下的事都很有意思 一点都不复杂
And I think Bobby really liked it,
我觉得Bobby真的很喜欢这样
because he was gonna dump his, uh... Betty Jo Cleary,
因为他本打算甩了... Betty Jo Cleary
this girl he was going steady with. But I wouldn't, I wouldn't hear of it.
那是他准备长期处下去的女友 不过我是等不到这个消息了
It was just what it was, you know,
事情就是这样的
it was a nice moment behind the tent at the fish fry.
炸鱼的时候 我们的帐篷后面享受销魂一刻
That is the most disgusting story I've ever heard.
这是我听过的最恶心的故事
You and this adenoidal guitar player slaking your lust...
你和你粗嗓子的吉他手男友...
at some barbaric social function.
在参加无聊的聚会时纵欲
You don't like to make love?
你不喜欢做爱?
No, I do not. No.
不 一点也不喜欢
That's crazy!
真是不可理解!
Boris, do you want to be buried or cremated?
Boris 你是想土葬还是火葬?
All right, I really don't wanna talk about that. Okay?
停 我不想讨论这个 行么?
- I think I want to be cremated. - Alright, will you shut up, cretin?
- 我喜欢火葬 - 别说了 神经病!
There's no worms.
火葬不长虫哦
- What is this? - A knish.
- 这是什么? - 炸饼
And what's it made of?
用什么做的?
I've been eating these things for years, they're delicious.
我吃这饼好多年了 很好吃的
I don't know what's in them.
我不知道它们是怎么做的
I don't want to know what's in them. Don't even talk about it!
我也不想知道 管那么多干吗!
- Oh, my God! The horror! The horror! - Boris!
- 神哪! 我害怕! 我害怕! - Boris!
- Are you all right? What happened? - No, I'm not all right.
- 你还好么? 出什么事了? - 不好 我很不好
- Are you sick? - No.
- 你病了? - 不是
Did you have a bad dream?
做噩梦了?
Yeah, it was terrible.
是啊 太可怕了
- Come here. It's okay. - Oh, I can't...
- 过来 没事的 - 我没法...
Oh, baby, you're sweating. Come sit down.
天哪 出了好多汗 过来坐吧
Night sweats. I get them.
夜间盗汗 老毛病了
I used to think it was AIDS,
我曾以为是艾滋病
but it's just that I have a morbid fear of the dark and...
但这不过是黑暗恐惧症的生理反应...
- you turned my night-light off! - Oh, I'm sorry.
- 还不是因为你关了我的夜明灯! - 对不起
Does your stomach hurt? Could it be the kwish?
你胃疼? 是不是炸饼的缘故?
Knish! Not kwish.
是炸饼! 你读错了!
Well, here, I'll... I'll put something on TV.
我们... 看会电视吧
I saw the Abyss.
我看见了地狱
Don't worry, we'll watch something else.
别担心 我们来看点别的
- Oh, this is, um... - Yeah.
- 这是... - 嗯
Fred Astaire. Yeah.
Fred Astaire
Leave that.
就看这个
That's good. Leave that.
很好 就看这个
There, that's it, okay? Can we get the hell outta here?
就在那儿 行了吧? 我们可以走了吗?
Oh, my God, that's it! It's the actual one!
天哪 是真的诶 实物啊!
I've only seen it in pictures!
我只在图片里见过自由女神像!
"Bring me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses"...
"欢迎你 那些疲乏了的和贫困的 挤在一起渴望自由呼吸的大众"...
I'm surprised you know that, terrible as it is.
你竟然知道这首诗 这么糟糕的诗
I closed with it for the Miss Greenwood, Mississippi pageant.
我看密西西比舞台剧"Greenwood小姐"时记住的
I think it's so moving.
我觉得很感人啊
But the huddled masses were never welcomed with open arms.
可事实是外来群体从不受欢迎
Soon as they came over, each ethnic group was met with violence and hostility.
对别的民族而言 他们一来就意味着暴力和敌意
Each one had to claw and fight its way in.
每个民族都在为了生存而挣扎
People always hated foreigners. It's the American way.
人们总是痛恨外来者 这是美国特色
Our pageants like to focus on the positive things about America.
我们的历史却只喜欢聚焦在积极的一面
Yeah. The blacks were kidnapped from Africa! Chained in ships!
是啊 从非洲绑架黑人过来! 像货物一样装在船里!
My daddy says that America bends over backwards
我爸爸说美国人之所以讨好黑人
for the blacks because we feel guilty, and it's crazy.
是因为我们内疚 真是无稽之谈
Oh, yeah, your daddy. Your daddy's a cracker, he's a bigot moron. Your daddy!
好吧 你爸真可笑 呆子一个!
Well, you're probably right, 'cause you're a genius,
大概你是对的 因为你是天才嘛
but for a little Mississippi girl like me, this is really exciting!
对于我这个密西西比的小女孩而言 这里太棒了
So what kinda genius are you, anyway?
那么你是哪种天才呢?
- What kind? - Yeah, what are you genius at?
- 哪种? - 我是指你擅长什么?
Quantum mechanics.
量子机械
Yeah, but what field? Like, music?
哪个领域的? 比如说音乐?
When you see kids tossing a ball,
当你看见小孩子打球的时候
does it ever make you miss spring training?
会不会怀念起春季训练?
Alright... I've never played for the Yankees,
告诉你... 我从不打球
do you understand that?
明白了吗?
I have never played any sports whatsoever in my life! Okay? Ever!
我这辈子没参加过任何运动! 懂了吗? 从来没有!
Joe, Leo, you gotta help me out. I can't take it anymore.
Joe Leo 帮帮我 我不能忍她了
Just kick her out.
把她赶出去不就得了
Can you believe it's been a month already?
你能相信已经一个月了吗?
- A whole month? God, time flies. - Well put.
- 一个月? 时间过得真快 - 打住
Well, at least is she pretty?
至少她很漂亮?
- She's won some beauty contests. - No.
- 她赢过一些选美比赛 - 不
Tall? Short? Blonde? Describe her.
高? 矮? 金发? 描述一下
Well, she's blonde. Nice height. Nice eyes.
她是金发 身高适中 有一双美丽的眼睛
Didn't quite realize how blue they were that first night.
一开始我都没发现她的眼睛那么蓝
Her face is a little more symmetrical than I had originally conceived.
她的脸比我想象的更匀称
She's not a ten. In a pinch, six.
虽然打不了十分 不过至少能打六分了
- Good in bed? - How would I know? I just want her out.
- 床上工夫怎么样? - 我怎么知道? 我只是想赶她走
- Can I ask you to dance with me? - It's too crowded.
- 可以请你跳支舞吗? - 这里太拥挤了
I don't mean now. In a few minutes,
我是指等一会儿 不是现在
the dance will be over and evectone will go home.
等舞会结束 所有人都回家了
Well, the band will go home, too.
到那时乐队也走了
Why, there'll just be the two of us left, and we can imagine the music.
那样整场就只剩我们两个人了 我们可以想象音乐
We can pretend there's a big orchestra ofviolins
假装有一支小提琴组成的大型乐队
and they're playing just for us as we dance.
只为我们两个演奏舞曲
You know, it's been proven television eats away the brain.
事实证明 电视造就脑残
Oh, hi! Shoot, I was gonna surprise you!
嗨 我还想给你个惊喜呢!
What? What's all this?
什么? 你在搞什么?
I'm making you a special dinner.
我在为你准备特别的晚餐哦
- Really? For me? - Yeah.
- 真的? 为我? - 是啊
And me, 'cause we're celebrating.
还有我 因为我们要庆祝啊
We are? What is it?
庆祝? 这是什么?
- Crawfish! I found some at the market. - Jesus. It's stinking up the whole house!
- 小龙虾! 我从集市上找的 - 天哪 你把屋子搞得乌烟瘴气!
No, they're so good. You'll love them.
他们很好吃的 保你喜欢
Listen, Melody, seriously, we have to talk.
Melody 说真的 我们需要谈谈
Oh, yeah. I know. We'll talk over dinner. It's almost done.
嗯嗯 我知道 吃饭的时候说吧 就快做好了
Melody, you're a very nice young woman. Really, very nice.
Melody 你是个好女孩 真的非常好
You have a lot of nice attributes,
你身上有很多好质量
but, you know, you just can't continue to stay here ad infinitum.
但是 你不能总住在这里啊
Yeah, yeah, but that's my news. Guess what?
我正想说这个呢 知道么?
I got a job! I can start paying you rent.
我找到工作啦! 我可以付房租了!
Rent? I don't want you to pay me rent!
房租? 我不要你的房租!
I want my life back. What kinda job?
我只想要我原来的生活 什么工作?
I start tomorrow as a dog walker.
从明天开始我就是遛狗师了
A dog walker? Oh, my God. Seriously...
遛狗师? 我的天 说真的...
Melody, don't you think you should go back home and finish high school,
Melody 你不觉得你该回家 然后读完高中
maybe even go to college?
再然后去读大学?
I thought the other night you were talking about how America has...
你昨晚还说美国的教育体系...
one ofthe worst education systems in the Old West.
是西部地区最差劲的呢
- No, no, the Western world. - Yeah, right, exactly,
- 不 不是西部 是西方世界 - 对 就是
and how most colleges just turn out mindless zombie morons.
还说多数大学教出的学生都是傻瓜 书呆子
You could benefit from classes.
你能在课堂上学到很多东西
I think the crawfish are ready.
看来小龙虾已经煮好了
What is that song?
那是什么曲子?
They played that song the first time I went out with Jessica.
我和Jessica第一次约会的时候放的就是这个曲子
- Where did you go? - We went to a dance.
- 你们去哪了? - 跳舞
We were both students at the University of Chicago.
我们都是芝加哥大学的学生
She had a high IQ and a low-cut dress.
她智商很高 穿了件低胸礼服
Boy, they really don't write them like they used to.
这故事当年可不是这么演的
Oh! That's a cliché.
噢! 真老套!
Good, Melody. You caught it.
说得好 Melody 一语中的
Well, you always get so mad when I do them.
我看的时候你总是很生气
Yeah, I shouldn't really. You know, sometimes a cliché...
也不会啦 有时候陈词滥调确实是
is finally the best way to make one's point.
灌输思想的最佳方式
Boris,
Boris
what would you say... if I was to say...
你会怎么想... 如果我说...
that I was developing a little crush on you?
我有一点点喜欢你?
- I'd say don't. - Why?
- 别说了 - 为什么?
Because anything deeper, more significant between us,
因为我们之间
- is outta the question. - Because why?
- 是不可能的 - 这算什么理由?
Because it's too preposterous to even dignity with an answer.
因为我没法回答你 这太荒唐了
It is?
有吗?
Every single thing is against it.
我们不可能在一起
Our ages, our backgrounds, our brains, our interests.
我们的年龄 背景 思想 兴趣都不同
Not to mention, I have no desire to have a relationship with a woman, any woman,
更别提 我不想和任何女人谈恋爱
nor any urge to make love, nor any desire to be anything...
更没有做爱的激情 我只想...
but isolated from the world.
与世隔绝地生活
And, you know, you're a beautiful girl...
但你是个漂亮的女孩子
who should be meeting normal healthy men and going out.
你应该找个健康正常的男人约会恋爱
Yeah, but I don't like normal healthy men.
但我不喜欢健康正常的男人
I like you.
我只喜欢你
I... You're hallucinating! I'm sure you'll make some man very happy
我... 你一定是疯了! 我相信你能在烤鱼 溜狗
at a fish fry or a dog fight or however you people spend time.
或是其他消遣时取悦男人
You really think I'm beautiful?
你真觉得我漂亮?
I admit I didn't give you your full due at first, physically.
我承认 一开始我并不觉得你有多好看
However, as only a great mind can do,
不过 就像一个智者常做的那样
I've reassessed my
我重新审视了你
position, and changed my mind.
然后改变了想法
So you could never think of marrying me?
那有没有想过和我结婚?
Have you lost your mind?
你没毛病吧?
Why on Earth would you even fantasize about such a thing?
到底在想些什么?
What could I offer you, but a bad temper, hypochondriasis,
我能给你什么? 我脾气坏 疑心重 还有固视症
morbid fixations, reclusive rages and misanthropy?
性格也是孤僻暴躁 消极厌世
And what could you offer me?
你又能给我带来些什么?
A character out of Faulkner, not unlike Benjy.
性格受福克纳影响 却只是个跟班吉一样的白痴
The answer to your question is no.
我的回答是 我不能和你在一起
I think you should stay here for a while, accumulate some money,
你应该在这里待一段时间 攒些钱
and then find a place of your own, and move on with your life.
然后找个属于自己的地方安定下来 继续生活
Well, what about your life?
那你的生活呢?
Let me teach you something about love. Okay?
让我来教你什么是爱
Naturally, there are exceptions to what I'm going to say,
通常 我说的也会有例外
but they're the exception, not the rule.
但那些只是意外而已 不是黄金准则
Love, despite what they tell you,
虽然他们不是这样告诉你的
does not conquer all. Nor does it even usually last.
但爱不能主宰一切 也通常不能持久
In the end, the romantic aspirations of our youth
年轻的浪漫激情最终会
are reduced to
渐渐褪去 只剩下
whatever works. Okay?
得过且过的生活 懂了吗?
Why do I think your bark is worse than your bite?
我怎么觉得你是面恶心善 心口不一?
Cliché, Melody.
别跟我来这一套 Melody
Oh, I don't care! Ifthe shoe fits, wear it, and that's another one.
我才不管呢! 鞋合脚就穿呗
We need to talk for a minute.
我们真得谈谈了
Can you believe this little inchworm setting her sights on me?
你能相信吗? 这小女孩竟然看上我了?
Yes, yes, we had some pleasant moments. Some dinners, some walks in the park.
是 我们是共度了一些欢乐时光 比如晚饭 公园漫步
I gave her the benefit of my vast knowledge and experience.
我把我广博的知识与经验传授给她
Tried to impart to her the perceptions and values
试图教给她最本原
of a truly original mentality.
最真实的价值观和世界观
I only wish I could do a Pygmalion on her.
我只是希望能赋予她思想
But if Henry Higgins ever tried to transform Melody SaintAnne Celestine,
但如果亨利 西金斯 也妄图改变 Melody Saint Anne Celestine
he, too, would have jumped out the window.
他也应该从窗子跳出去
Come on.
转弯
- Oh, boy! New friends. - I'm sorry.
- 哦 伙计! 有新朋友 - 抱歉
Oh, yeah. They like each other.
没错 他们处得挺好的
It's okay. I rather like dogs.
呵呵 我很喜欢狗狗
Well, I'm more of a cat person, myself. I just do this professionally. Sorry.
嗯 我自己不是很喜欢狗 我只是专职帮别人遛狗 抱歉
I never met a professional dog walker.
我还从没见过专给人遛狗的
Really? It's not really the career that I want, but...
真的? 我也不想从事这份职业...
What do you want to do?
那你想做什么?
I'd like to work with children.
我想和孩子们一起工作
You're very pretty, you know that?
你知道么 你长得很漂亮?
- Shut up! Thank you. - Can I ask your name?
- 别说了! 谢谢 - 我能知道你的名字么?
It's Melody. Melody Saint Anne Celestine.
我是Melody Melody Saint Anne Celestine
What a beautiful name! Mine's Perry Singleton.
多可爱的名字! 我叫Perry Singleton
- It's nice to meet you. - Yes, nice to meet you.
- 你好 - 见到你真高兴
May I walk along with you?
我可以和你一起遛狗么?
I don't see why not, you know, since we're all doomed anyway.
为什么不呢 既然我们是命中注定的
- Pardon me? - Well, you know, everything ends.
- 什么意思? - 万物皆有定数
I don't think I follow.
不明白
Well, you know, it's like the cosmos, or eternity.
好比宇宙和永恒
Whichever's bigger. I just know that we're all flying apart.
不管哪个更长久 我们都渐渐远离彼此
What is that? What is that? Is that a move?
什么意思? 什么玩意? 为什么这么走?
Well, I thought your bishop was...
我觉得你的象...
My bishop what? What? You patzer, you earthworm!
我的象怎么了? 怎么了? 你个白痴!
How many times do I have to tell you? You don't take that pawn.
我要说多少次? 你就是不动卒
That's called the poisoned pawn, because look!
叫它致命卒是有原因的 注意看!
- Boris! - Look what happens!
- Boris! - 看发生了什么!
- Sorry, Mr. Yellnikoff. - Yeah, you're sorry,
- 抱歉 Yellnikoff先生 - 你很抱歉
you're sorry. Use your head next time, you won't be sorry!
你不好意思 下次动动脑子 你就不用说抱歉了!
- Boris! - Yeah. Do your homework next week.
- Boris! - 下星期自己在家做功课
Don't waste my time.
别来浪费我时间了
- Hey! - Poisoned!
- 嘿! - 致命卒!
I got offwork early today and I thought maybe we could walk home together.
我今天提前下班了 我们可以一起回家了
Maybe I can make black-eyed peas and crab cakes for dinner.
或许晚餐我们可以做点黑眼豆和蟹饼
- No, I'm not hungry. - What's the matter?
- 不用了我不饿 - 怎么了?
- My ulcer's been killing me all day. - I thought you didn't have an ulcer.
- 我的溃疡快疼死我了 - 你没得溃疡吧
No, I said they can't find an ulcer, not that I don't have one.
他们没找到 并不代表我没有
Those malpractice medical mental midgets.
那些渎职的医学精神侏儒
They drop that endoscope down my throat and probe me like coal miners,
他们把内视镜放进我喉咙然后跟打矿似地探入
and they always come up with nothing!
最后总是什么也没发现!
Well, guess what happened today?
猜猜今天发生了什么事?
I got to talking to this boy on the job...
我遛狗的时候和一个男孩聊了两句...
and, uh... he asked me out on a date.
然后 呃... 他就约我出去了
- Really? - Mh'hm.
- 真的? - 嗯
I could tell he liked me right off and... uh,
我觉得他对我一见钟情... 呃
we went had coffee and just had, you know, funny banter.
我们一起去喝了咖啡 然后 打情骂俏
You know what banter is, it's like flirty talk.
你知道什么是逗乐打趣的 就像调情一样
Yeah, yeah, I'm familiar with banter.
嗯 没错 我很在行逗乐打趣
Yeah, so, anyway, he asked if I had a boyfriend.
嗯 最后 他问我有没有男朋友
I said, "Not really". He said, "I'll pick you up Friday at eight".
我说"不是真正意义上的" 他说"我星期五晚8点来接你"
What'd you think?
你觉得?
Great. I just hope he's, uh... not a Ted Bundy, you know.
很棒 我只是希望 呃... 不是那个泰德 邦迪 你明白么
A who?
谁?
You have to keep an eye out for serial killers.
你要当心连环杀人凶手
He's not a serial killer. At least he didn't mention it.
他不是连环杀人凶手 至少他没说过
Yeah, well, you have to be careful.
嗯 小心为妙
Sometimes they put you in a trunk of a car and you can't breathe.
有时候他们把你装进车子的后备箱 你就不能呼吸了
I'm not... I'm serious.
我不是... 我认真的
I told him your theory about capital punishment.
我告诉了他你有关死刑的理论
What'd you say?
你说了什么?
That it should include people that don't pick up after their dogs, uh,
那些在狗捣乱后不收拾的人
people who ride their bikes on the sidewalk,
那些在人行道上骑自行车的人
people who call mothers "moms" and, uh...
那些管妈妈叫"老娘" 的人还有等都应该判死刑...
God, I can't remember 'em all, you have so many.
天 太多了我记不住 你列了那么多
- How do I look? - Subnormal.
- 我看起来怎么样? - 低能弱智
Why? What's wrong?
为什么? 怎么了?
That's an awfully aggressive ensemble.
整体效果看起来具有挑逗感
You looking to wind up in an abortion clinic?
你看起来像要去堕胎?
I wanna look nice.
我只想看起来漂亮点
Just kinda give him an idea of what he might be in for...
只是想给他点暗示他会得到点什么...
if he plays his cards right.
如果他表现好的话
Oh, yeah? What's he in for?
哦? 他会得到什么?
All the stuff with a woman that you reject,
你所拒绝的女人的一切
because you're a genius and you're above it all.
因为你是天才 所以不食人间烟火
But I happen to be pretty sharp, too,
但是我也很聪明
and I have a natural talent in the field of fooling around.
而且天生善于嬉戏
Yeah, well, I just hope you're saving your money...
嗯 我只是希望你能省点钱...
so you can move out quickly, you know, now that you're working.
这样你就能尽早搬出去了 既然你有工作了
- Hi, Perry! - Hey.
- 嗨 Perry! - 嗨
Sorry I'm late. I got stuck on the train.
抱歉来晚了 堵车了
No, it's fine. Come on in.
没事啦 进来吧
This is Perry.
这就是Perry
Hi. Your daughter is very lovely, Mr. Celestine.
嗨 您女儿真的很惹人爱 Celestine先生
I'm not her father.
我不是她爸爸
Grandfather?
那是祖父?
Perry, I told you I was staying with a friend.
Perry 我不是跟你说了我跟一个朋友住在一起
So what'd you do, Perry?
你是干什么的 Perry?
He's studying... investments and investing things.
他在学习... 投资方面的事情
You got any, uh...
你有拿到 呃...
- identification? - Pardon me?
- 什么证书么? - 什么?
You know, driver's license, birth certificate.
驾照 出生证明之类的
No, sir. I never carry around my birth certificate... Why would I?
没有 先生 我不会随身携带我的出生证... 为什么?
Be careful, Bundy sometimes posed as a banker.
小心点 有时候邦迪也会伪装成银行家
Oh...
哦...
I'm just gonna go finish getting ready. I'll be right back.
我再去准备下 马上回来
Melody tells me you're a very brilliant man.
Melody 告诉我你是个很聪明的男人
If an IQ of 200 is brilliant.
如果智商200就算聪明的话
She explained to me your theory about life being meaningless.
她跟我解释了你的生命无意义论
Don't let it spoil your evening.
别让那东西扫了你们的兴
- Okay, let's go, Perry. - Okay.
- 我们走吧 Perry - 好的
Oh, hey! Come here.
哦 嘿! 过来
Don't give him any information about me.
别再跟他提我的事情
Like what?
比如说?
You know, dates, credit card numbers, blood type, things like that.
关于 约会 信用卡号 血型之类的事...
Goodbye, Boris.
再见 Boris
Oh, and hey, if I'm not here when you get back, don't worry.
哦 还有 要是你晚上回来的时候我不在 别担心
Oh? Where are you going?
哦? 你要去哪儿?
- Out. - Okay, fine.
- 出去 - 好 没问题
- Yeah, I have friends, too. - Okay. Yeah.
- 嗯 我也有朋友 - 好的 没错
I even heard the opening's supposed to be good.
据说开场很精彩
Yeah, they are. Have you seen them before?
嗯 没错 你之前看过吗?
No, no. This is my first concert in New York.
没 这是我来纽约以后第一次听现场演出
You didn't tell me that.
你没告诉过我
Get the hell outta here. In America, they have summer camps for everything.
真是活见鬼 在美国 有各式各样的夏令营
Rich kids, basketball camp, magic camp.
富家子弟营 篮球营 魔术营
- Tennis camp. - Tennis camp. Movie director camp!
- 网球夏令营 - 网球夏令营 还有电影制作夏令营!
They should have a concentration camp.
他们应该办个集中精神夏令营
Two weeks mandatory for all kids growing up,
给那些青少年两个星期的强制令
so they would finally understand what the human race is capable of.
他们就会明白人类种族强大的原因了
Brilliant! Except who'd send their kid to a concentration camp?
聪明! 除了那些把孩子送去精神集中营的人?
A responsible parent who wants their child to grasp reality.
理性的家长会让他们的孩子了解现实
Alright, alright, alright, let's change the subject.
好了 好了 好了 换个话题吧
Meanwhile, Harry Lawson died.
据说Harry Lawson去世了
- Harry Lawson? - Yeah, I heard.
- Harry Lawson? - 没错 我听说了
Yeah. Just celebrated his fifty-first birthday.
嗯 刚庆祝完他的51岁生日
- What a great chemist. - But he was a smoker.
- 他是个伟大的化学家 - 但是他是个烟枪
A smoker. The minute a person dies, he's a smoker or overweight.
烟枪 只要一有人死 就说是吸烟或者肥胖
Hey, I got news for you, thin non-smokers die, too. Okay?
好吧 有个好消息告诉你 又瘦又不吸烟的人也会死 好了吧?
Abstinence isn't gonna save you.
禁欲救不了你
You're pleasant tonight.
多有意思的夜晚
- What are you talking about? - Where's Melody tonight?
- 你在说什么? - Melody去哪了?
She's out listening to some eardrum-busting bilge posing as music.
她去听那种蹩脚吵闹却被叫做音乐的东西
I thought you were gonna kick her out.
我还以为你会赶她出去
Well, hopefully this guy tonight will take her off my hands.
嗯 希望今晚的那个家伙会把她带走
You know, why not? I mean, she's pretty.
为什么不呢? 我是说 她长得很漂亮啊
Now she's pretty?
现在又说她漂亮?
What? I'm just saying she's not atrocious-looking. That's all.
什么? 我只是说她长得不吓人 就是这样
I'd say a seven or eight.
我是说也就七八分的姿色
Anybody here?
有人在吗?
- Oh, you're up! - Yeah, I just got in.
- 哦 你起床了! - 嗯 我刚回来
And what did you do?
你昨晚干嘛去了?
I went dancing at a Latin club. It was limbo night.
我在一家拉丁俱乐部跳舞 折磨死人了
Shut up!
别说了!
You were talking about people...
你在谈论人类...
and politics and all that stuff you guys like to hate.
还有政治 那些你们讨厌的东西
Oh... How was your date?
哦... 你的约会怎么样?
- It was a big washout! Yeah. - Really?
- 彻底失败! -真的?
This particular rock band wasn't any good?
那个摇滚乐队太差劲了?
I don't know how you can differentiate?
我都不知道你们是怎么区分好坏的?
No! No, the music was fine. Just...
不! 不是 音乐很不错 只是...
that guy and his friends! I just...
他 还有他那些朋友! 我只是...
What?
什么?
Well, his taste! He just... He likes everything.
嗯 他的品味! 他... 他喜欢所有的事情
Life, love, human beings!
生活 爱情 人类!
And the couple that we double-dated with, they were just protons!
和我们一起去的那对情侣只是原子级别的!
- Protons? - Do I mean protons?
- 原子? - 我说了原子么?
Cretins!
应该是白痴!
Cretins, that's what I mean. Yeah, they didn't know...
我是说 白痴 没错 他们不知道...
the first thing about string theory.
弦理论
I think you're a little drunk.
你喝醉了
I did have a few drinks.
我只喝了一点点
But can you blame me? Hanging out with those inchworms?
你怎么能怪我? 和那些白痴一起出去?
I mean, they actually think that love is the answer to everything.
他们居然认为爱是解决一切问题的答案
I told them about Jethro Paige from back home.
回家时 我给他们讲杰思罗佩奇的故事
He got caught doing it with a sheep. Making love with a sheep.
他在和一头羊做爱的时候 被抓住了 居然和羊做爱
And they were all laughing and everything,
他们全都笑了
but I just looked at them and said, "Folks,
但我只是盯着他们说 "伙计们"
"as Boris would say, whatever works".
"Boris会说 随便怎样都行"
- What're you looking at? - Unbelievable.
- 你在看什么? - 难以置信
The chance factor in life is mind-boggling.
生命的变化真难以置信
You entered the world...
你来到这世界...
by a random event...
不过是个随机事件...
somewhere along the Mississippi.
发生在密西西比的某个地方
I, having emerged through the conjoining...
几十年前 在布朗克斯区...
of Sam and Yetta Yellnikoff in the Bronx,
Sam和Yetta Yellnik交接的时候
decades earlier.
我幸存了下来
And through an astronomical...
在经历一系列天文的...
concatenation of circumstances,
连锁反应发生后
our paths cross.
我们的生命有了交集
Two runaways...
两个私奔的人...
in the vast,
在浩瀚的宇宙中
black,
沉默
unspeakably violent...
冷暴力...
and indifferent universe.
还有漠然的世界
Can you believe I married her? What possessed me?
你相信我娶了她么? 我是着了什么魔?
This search in life for something to give the illusion of meaning.
这就是在生命中寻找幻想的意义
To quell the panic.
用来缓解我们的恐慌
Alright, so it's been a year.
好了 过了一年
3 hundred and 65 days of married life.
365天有婚姻的日子
And you know what? Not the worst year of my life, either.
你知道么? 这并不是我生命中最黑暗的岁月
What are these?
这些是什么?
- They're grits. - Seriously?
- 沙子 - 说真的?
They're actually disgusting.
真难吃
She's cheerful, not demanding.
她很棒 但不是我要的
Okay, not as brilliant as Jessica,
好吧 她是没Jessica聪明
but not as ambitious and predatoct, either.
也没她那么有野性和侵略性
Jessica's problem was she made up in ego what she lacked in superego.
Jessica的问题就在于 当应超脱自我时 却太自我了
But not Melody.
Melody不会
She likes being a nanny. She's happy with other people's kids,
她就像一个保姆 喜欢和小孩儿待在一起
so mercifully she doesn't bother me about having our own.
她博爱到不需要拥有我们自己的小孩
Once a week we see a movie.
我们一周看一次电影
Maybe she doesn't understand everything I take her to,
或许她看不明白我带她看的电影
but she tries and she's a good sport.
但是她努力去看了 看不懂也不上心
She sits up nights with me when I have my panic attacks.
当我的恐惧来袭时 她陪我坐至天明
She keeps me company at the emergency rcom
她在急症室陪着我
when I'm convinced my mosquito bite is a melanoma.
在我认为 被蚊子咬的那个包 是黑色素瘤的时候
Yes, my life is circumscribed, but I manage to avoid stress.
我的生活很局限 但我能有效化解压力
I've achieved a delicate balance.
我达到了一种微妙的平衡状态
And as long as I can maintain it, I feel less inclined to ending it.
只要我保持 我就更不想打破它
Oh, no, no, no.
哦 不 不 不
- Unacceptable. Come on, this is not good. - What?
- 无法接受 别这样 这样不好 - 什么?
I like music I can dance to.
我喜欢舞曲
I know, I know, but this is brutal. Here, you know what I want you to do?
我知道 我知道 但这种音乐太粗俗了 拿着 知道要干嘛吧?
Put this on. Okay? And then when I come out, we'll discuss it.
放这张碟 好么? 我出来了再好好讨论一下
All right, I'll try.
好吧 我尽量试试
It's Beethoven's Fifth!
贝多芬第五交响曲!
Think of the music as fate knocking on the door.
幻想音乐中 命运敲门之时
Maybe a little story will help you appreciate it.
或许来点小故事能帮你更好地理解它
Fate knocking on the door.
命运敲门之时
- Mother? - Melody!
- 妈妈? - Melody!
Oh, it's you!
是你!
- Oh, my God. - It's my baby!
- 哦 天啊 - 我的孩子!
I finally found you, praise Jesus!
谢天谢地 我终于找到你了!
How did you find me?
你怎么找到我的?
Oh, my prayers were finally answered!
上帝听到了我的祈祷!
I can't... You're just the last person I expected to see.
我真不... 我真想不到会是你
Well, when you least expect it, fate has a way of knocking on your door.
嗯 当你不再企盼时 命运就降临了
Yeah, it does. Okay. Oh, you have a bag.
真的 哦 快把箱子放进来吧
What are you doing here?
你来这里干什么?
- Well, I was trying to find you, honey. - Why?
- 宝贝 我一直在找你 - 怎么了?
- I came to find you, honey! - You did?
- 我来找你了 宝贝! - 真的?
Oh, we searched and searched.
我们找了又找
The police looked for clues. Everything led to a dead end.
警察找到了些线索 但最后都不了了之
How we worried. I developed crow's feet from the worrying.
我们多担心你啊 眼角都多出了好多鱼尾纹
Now look here. I had a little work done.
看看这里 我有得忙了
Mother, I left you a letter. I told you I'd be all right.
妈妈 我给你留了封信 告诉你会我会好好的
Melody SaintAnne, I'd hardly call this all right!
Melody Saint Anne 我几乎不能说出你全名了!
Well, what's wrong with it?
怎么了?
What's wrong? What's happened to your senses?
怎么了? 你理解力出了什么问题了?
Everything's wrong. You're living like a sharecropper.
什么都不对劲 你活得就像个小佃农
But it's clean as a whistle. I clean it myself every day.
但是这里很干净啊 我每天都打扫
You clean? You don't have a woman?
你打扫? 你没有请保姆么?
Boris can't really afford help.
Boris供不起
- Who? - Boris.
- 谁? - Boris
- Who's Boris? - My husband.
- 谁是Boris? - 我丈夫
- What? - That's right, Mama, I got married.
- 什么? - 没错 我结婚了
- And he's taken you to live here? - No, no, I moved in with him.
- 他把你骗到这儿来住的? - 不 不 是我自己搬进来的
I have to have a drink.
我要喝点酒
I need to sit. I need an anesthetic.
我得坐坐 我得麻醉下
Okay, okay, have a seat. We don't have any bourbon or nothing.
快坐快坐 但是我们没有波本威士忌之类的东西
Just bring me the drink with the highest volume of alcohol you have.
把你有的最高度数的酒给我就好了
You know, Mama, I'm kind of happy.
妈妈 我生活得很快乐
Kind of happy?
怎么个快乐法?
You leave a loving home in Eden,
你离开了伊甸园般的家
run offwith some crazy kid, I'm guessing he's a rock musician
和野孩子一起离家出走 我猜他是一个找不到体面的工作
who can't earn a respectable living, and you wind up
养不活自己的摇滚乐手 你就落脚在
in this decadent city, living in a rattrap.
这个颓废的城市 住在那么破的房子里
This is exactly why I ran away.
这就是我离家的原因
Why, why, Miss Sweet Pea? Why did you forsake your loving home?
为什么 为什么 想效仿豌豆公主? 好好的家干嘛不待?
Because, Mama, you're...
因为 妈妈 你...
You're overbearing. That's it. You're overbearing
我受不了你 就是这样 我受不了你
and you fail to see the big picture.
你目光短浅 看不到未来
What big picture are you talking about?
你说的是什么样的未来?
I don't know.
我不知道
All I know is that nothing moves faster than the speed of light,
我只知道时光飞逝 弹指一瞬
so you may as well relax.
你最终也会消停的
I'm just gonna have a little moment of prayer.
我要向上帝祈祷一下
Mama, you're still caught up in that Christian superstition?
妈妈 你还陷在基督教迷信中么?
Happy birthday to you
祝你生日快乐 祝你生日快乐...
What's that?
什么声音?
That's Boris.
是Boris
It's his birthday?
今天是他生日?
No, he's just washing his hands.
不 他只是在洗手
Happy birthday, dear Boris Happy birthday to you
祝你生日快乐 亲爱的Boris 祝你生日快乐
Who's this?
这是谁?
Boris, this is my mother.
Boris 这是我妈妈
Mother, my husband.
妈妈 我丈夫
Mama! Mama!
妈妈! 妈妈!
Walk her around, she's obviously a boozehound.
看看 她显然是个酗酒狂
Mama, are you all right?
妈妈 你还好吗?
- Did he drug you? - What?
- 他给你下药了吗? - 什么?
- Are you on sodium pentothal? - No.
- 你服硫喷妥钠了吗?(一种麻醉剂) - 没有
That's what they do, the secular humanists.
现在的人经常这么做
It's uncanny. She's exactly the kind of moron you described.
不可思议 她竟和你说的一样笨
You are not the gentleman I was expecting.
你可不是我喜欢的类型
I'm sure not. I'm sure you'd be happy
当然不是 我确信你会很庆幸
if she married the guy who caught the biggest catfish in Plaquemines County.
她嫁给一个在Plaquemines郡抓到最大鲶鱼的男人
I'd be happier if she married the catfish.
她嫁给鲶鱼我会更高兴
No, you see, Mama, Boris is a genius. Okay?
不 妈妈 Boris是个天才 你知道吗?
He doesn't have a lot of patience for us inchworms.
他没时间理我们这些小人物的
- We, we inchworms. - We.
- 我们 我们才是蚯蚓 - 是我们
Some genius.
天才
I was almost nominated for a Nobel Prize.
我几乎被提名诺贝尔奖
That's right, Boris. And what was it for again? Best Picture?
是的 Boris 是什么奖项来这? 最佳图片奖?
I need more booze.
我还要喝酒
You know, you never said how you found me.
你还没说怎么找到我的
Oh, Melody. I have a sad tale to tell you.
哦 Melody 我要给你讲个伤心的故事
What happened, Mama?
怎么了 妈妈?
Your father left me.
你爸爸离开了我
- Aren't you shocked? - No.
- 你不震惊吗? - 不
And with who, of all people?
那么多人中 你猜他和谁走了?
- My best friend, Mandy. - Your best friend, Mandy.
- 我最好的朋友 Mandy - 你最好的朋友 Mandy
- How did you know? - Oh, Mama.
- 你怎么知道? - 哦 妈妈
It was as plain as the nose on your face. Cliché, sorry.
你脸上的表情显露无遗 Clichey 抱歉
At first I thought he was acting peculiar,
一开始他表现的很怪异
because things was going so bad for us, darling.
因为我们之间出事了 亲爱的
How often did you have intercourse?
你们多久见一次?
Are you going to close that insulting mouth?
你能闭上那张臭嘴吗?
By bad, I mean he lost a lot of money in the stock market after you left
最糟的是 你走后他在股票市场里输了好多钱
and we were forced to sell the house.
我们被迫卖掉房子
- You sold the house? - I'm sorry, yes. We took a beating,
- 你把房子卖了? - 抱歉 是的 我们深受打击
because we were so desperate.
我们很绝望
And then he lost his job, the company went out of business.
接着他就丢了工作 公司倒闭了
And then we spent all our savings on medical bills,
之后我们为付医疗费 花光了所有的储蓄
'cause I came down with a case of the shingles!
因为我得了疱疹!
- Oh, my God. - Christ, this is like Job. No locusts?
- 哦 天啊 - 天啊 就像工作 不能偷懒?
Darling, I turned to Jesus in a deeper way than I had ever done in my life.
亲爱的 我比以往更虔诚的向上帝祈祷
I prayed and I prayed, every day and every night,
我日日夜夜都在祈祷
asking God to help me.
请求上帝帮助我
Let me guess what happened, your shingles got worse.
我猜你的疱疹严重了
I said, "Lord, just give me one sign that all my suffering is for a purpose".
我说 "主啊 能否告诉我 为何我要承受这些"
I said, "Please, God, just say something".
我说 "主啊 说点什么吧"
"Break your silence. I can't take any more misery!"
"不要再沉默了 我真的再也无法忍受这种生活了!"
Nothing, right? And all that money you put in the tin box every Sunday.
没事 对吗? 每周六你都往储蓄罐里放钱
Abortion is murder, that's the long and short of it.
堕胎就是种谋杀 只是早晚的问题而已
- That's how I feel. Well... - Even if the woman is raped?
- 这是我的理解 嗯... - 就算是被强奸的也不行?
Why are you wasting your breath, Brockman?
干嘛浪费时间 Brockman?
You're dealing with an aborigine.
你这是在对牛弹琴
You don't mind killing the unborn,
你不介意堕胎
but when some fiend has raped and murdered,
但当有坏人强奸和谋杀别人
you're against giving him that big old injection?
你会反对判他死刑吗?
Well, not me, Mr. Genius, and I don't care how many Academy Awards you've won.
我可不会 天才先生 我不知你获得过多少学术奖
I've never won an Academy Award and I've never played for the Yankees!
我从未获过学术奖 也从未支持过洋基队!
- Where's the little girI's? Thank you. - It's back there.
- 女卫生间在哪? - 在那后面
Don't forget to sing The Star-Spangled Bannerbeforeyou sit.
- 谢谢 - 记得在坐下前唱国歌
Excuse me. Excuse me.
- 你好 打扰了 - 打扰了
I realize this is forward, but who's that beautiful young girl you're with?
我知道这样问很唐突 可那个在你旁边漂亮的年轻女孩是谁?
May I ask why you want to know?
我能知道你为什么问吗?
Well, because she's very beautiful. And I'm assuming she's your daughter?
嗯 因为她很美 她是您的女儿吗?
What did you say your name was, darling?
你叫什么名字来着 亲爱的?
- Randy Randy Lee James - Randy Lee James - Randy. Randy Lee James. - Randy Lee James.
Nice to meet you.
很高兴认识你你
It's too good. I think they're putting mayonnaise in here.
太好了 他们往这里放色拉酱了
- No, they can't put mayonnaise in hummus. - Hello.
- 不 他们不能往豆酱放色拉酱 - 嗨
Oh, thank you.
哦 谢谢
- Who were you talking to? - I wasn't talking to anybody. Nobody.
- 你刚才在和谁说话? - 我没和谁说话 谁也没有
Listen, listen, I wanna go someplace fun.
听着 听着 我想去有些意思的地方
Take me someplace fun! It's New York! Let's go.
带我去好玩的地方! 这是纽约! 我们走吧
Boris, where can I take her that's fun?
Boris 我该带她去哪儿玩好?
How about the Holocaust Museum?
Holocaust博物馆怎么样?
- Oh, for God's sake, Boris. - No.
- 哦 拜托 Boris - 不要
- Oh, the wax! The wax figures. - Oh, yes.
- 哦 蜡像馆! 蜡像名人馆 - 哦 是啊
- Yes, yes, let's go. Come on. - Let's do that.
- 对 对啊 我们走吧 走 - 我们走
- It was so nice to meet you, Leo. - You, too. Have a nice day.
- 见到你很高兴 Leo - 你也是 玩的开心啊
- Bye. Bye, bye. - Bye.
- 拜 拜 拜 - 拜
Have fun!
玩的开心!
You know, I have to say, even with a textbook right-wing mentality,
知道吗 我不得不说 即使对右翼教科书分子来说
your mother-in-law has beautifully shaped breasts.
你岳母的胸也很美
You know, you're a man of learning,
你是个学过
of cultivation of aesthetic sensibility.
如何审美的人
This is what you take away from the school-prayer hokum
这就是你从学校祷告的废话里
and "my country right or wrong"? Her bosom?
和"我的国家是对是错"(一本书)中学到的? 她的胸部?
It's not just her bosom. Her behind is also beautifully contoured.
不光胸部 她背影的线条也如此优美
Well, I'm sure you'll have no problem getting her into bed.
我确定你一定能让她上床
She's vulnerable, she's stupid and she's been abandoned.
她很脆弱 很蠢 还被抛弃了
Personally, I lose all erotic inclination
就个人而言 我对加入一个加入全美步枪协会的女人
when the woman's a member of the National Rifle Association.
完全没有性欲
It's pear-shaped.
她是梨形身材
Degas used to distinguish between an apple-shaped behind and pear-shaped.
德卡斯(画家)原来区别过苹果形和梨形身材的不同
And I'm a big fruit eater.
我可是水果行家
- Melody. - That's so weird.
- Melody - 太诡异了
Oh, my God. Oh, hello.
- 哦 天啊 - 哦 你好
- They're made out of real wax, too. - Oh, it's Billy. Billy...
- 他们生动到根本就不像是蜡像 - 哦 是Billy Billy...
Billy Graham!
哦 Billy Graham!
Oh, sweet pea, sweet pea, this is the kind of man you should be married to,
哦 小糖豆 小糖豆 这才是你该嫁的男人
not that Communist who sings Happy Birthday
可不是每次在洗手时都唱生日快乐
every time he washes his hands.
那个共产主义者
How long are you staying, Mom?
你要待多久 妈妈?
Honey, I don't know where else to go.
亲爱的 我没其他地方可去
I have nothing to hold onto. Nothing! I have to have something.
我一无所有 一无所有! 我得拥有点什么
I mean, I'm never going to attract a man again, but you can. Yes.
我是说 我不能再去吸引男人了 但你可以 是的
I don't want to get in an argument.
我不想和你吵架
Honey, I met a young man today who is perfect for you.
宝贝 今天我碰到了一个适合你的男人
- Mom! - Yes. Listen to me.
- 妈妈! - 真的 听我说
He is talented, handsome, sweet,
他很有才 很帅 也很可爱
and he has the proper reverence for life and its higher purpose.
他敬畏生命 并且还有更高的目标
What are you talking about?
你在说什么?
Face it, Melody, Boris is not like a real husband.
Melody Boris可不像个真正的丈夫
He's more of an outpatient and you're his keeper.
他更像个病人 而你就是他的保姆
I really wish you hadn't showed up, Mom.
我真希望你没来 妈妈
- His name is Randy Lee James. - Who?
- 他叫Randy Lee James - 谁?
This delightful young actor. He fell in love with you at first sight.
那个让人宽心的年轻演员 他对你一见钟情
- He did. He did. - Mom, I'm married!
- 是真的 是真的 - 妈妈 我已经结婚了!
I refuse to recognize it. What are you doing with a gimpy chess bum
我不认可 你怎么可以和一个跛脚下象棋的懒汉
who has to sleep with the light on? How'd he get that limp?
并且还开灯睡觉的人在一起? 他怎么瘸的?
He jumped out the window and his suicide didn't work.
他从窗户跳出去 自杀未遂
Well, you can't win them all. Now, listen,
嗯 你可管不住他 听着
I have a good law yer who can get all ofthis annulled.
我认识个好律师 他可以使这桩婚姻无效
- All of it. Yes. Yes. - No, no, Mom, no, you're crazy!
- 完全无效 真的 真的 - 不 不 妈妈 不要 你疯了!
Oh, hello.
哦 你好
Happy birthday, dear Boris Happy birthday to you
祝你生日快乐 亲爱的Boris 祝你生日快乐
Happy birthday to you
祝你生日快乐
Happy birthday, dear Boris
祝你生日快乐 亲爱的Boris
Happy birthday to you
祝你生日快乐
- Who could be calling at midnight? - Could be burglars, casing the place.
- 大半夜谁能来电话? - 可能是夜贼 确定地点
- To steal what? Your Flomax? - Hello?
- 来偷什么? 你的盐酸? - 你好?
Oh, hi.
哦 嗨
Yeah, just a second.
哦 等等
- It's for me? - Yes.
- 找我的? - 是的
Don't give away any information about me!
别泄露我的任何信息!
Hello? Oh, hello, Leo.
你好? 哦 你好 Leo
- It's Leo Brockman. - Brockman?
- 是Leo Brockman - Brockman?
Really?
真的吗? 哦
Well, that sounds wonderful.
哦 听起来真棒
Well, yeah, Sunday's fine. Yeah.
嗯 好 星期天可以 好的
3:00? Well, 3:00's perfect.
3点? 好的 3点很好
Okay. Yeah. See you, darling.
好的 嗯 回见 亲爱的
"See you, darling"? "See you, darling"? Oh, God, poor Brockman!
"回见 亲爱的"? "回见 亲爱的"? 哦 天啊 可怜的Brockman!
Good night, y'all.
大家晚安
I'm going to say my prayers. I'm praying Brockman has herpes.
我要去祷告了 祈祷Brockman患上疱疹
That was so wonderful! I never in my life saw a movie in Japanese before.
太好看了! 之前我从没看过日语的电影
- Did you like it? - Oh, yes!
- 喜欢吗? - 哦 喜欢!
I've never seen a movie made by a foreigner.
我从没看过外国人拍的电影
John, my husband, took me to see stupid movies, which was all there was.
我丈夫John 每次带我去看的都是些没劲的电影
How do you say this? "Chateau" what?
这个怎么念? "Chateau" 什么?
Meyney.
Meyney
- The what? - Meyney.
- 什么? - Meyney
- Meyney? - Yeah.
- Meyney? - 对
- It is so delicious. - I'm glad you like it.
- 真好喝 - 很高兴你喜欢
What do you do? What do you do, Leo?
你是做什么的? 你是做什么的 Leo?
I teach philosophy at the university around the corner.
我在街角的大学教哲学
Tell me something. Is Boris really a genius?
给我讲讲 Boris真是个天才吗?
There was a time when he was a very fine physicist.
有段时间他是个非常著名的物理学家
Yeah, your daughter's very good for Boris. It's my theory that she keeps him going.
是的 你女儿很适合Boris 是我让她跟他在一起
Would you like to see some pretty pictures of Melody?
想看看Melody的漂亮照片吗?
Goodness.
哦 天啊
- Well, all right. - Okay.
- 哦 好 - 好
Look, here they are. Look at these.
看 给你 看这些
Right there, that's where she is Miss... Miss Natchez.
在这 这是她当... Natchez小姐的时候
- Wow. - Look at her. And...
- 哇 - 看看她 然后...
she was Miss Tupelo.
这是她做Tupelo小姐的时候
Oh, God! Look how gorgeous she is!
哦 天啊! 看她多美!
She's so beautiful. I love her! I love her!
她真美 我爱她! 我爱她!
- Very lovely. - I was so proud of her.
- 真可爱 - 我真为她自豪
These pictures are kind of interesting.
这些照片挺有意思
I know! She's just gorgeous!
我知道! 她就是那么美!
And she has this... She's just my little sweet pea.
还有这张... 她是就我的小糖豆
I mean the photos. Did you take them?
我是说这些照片 是你拍的吗?
Um...
嗯...
- Yes. Yes. - And this?
- 是的 是的 - 这张呢?
Oh, that's our house. Ah... well, it was. Is there more wine?
哦 这是我家 啊... 嗯 曾经的家 还有酒吗?
Yeah. You took all these?
有 这些都是你拍的?
Yes, with my little old Kodak.
是的 用我的小柯达相机
Ah'ha...
啊哈...
These are outstanding. I mean,
真好看 我是说
there's such a sense of... texture and composition.
那种感觉... 神韵和构图
In these? No.
这些照片? 算了吧
No, I mean it. I know what I'm talking about.
不 我认真的 我清楚自己在说什么
I occasionally write about the aesthetics of photography.
我偶尔研究摄影的美感
Oh, my God. I have to tell you something.
哦 天啊 我要告诉你
Aside from Melody's career, there is nothing, nothing in the whole world...
除了Melody的事业 什么也不能 世界上什么也无法...
that gave me more pleasure than taking those snapshots.
比拍这些快照能更让我快乐
Of course, John... Cheers. John hated them and didn't want me to do it.
当然了 John... 干杯 John讨厌这些 也不想让我拍
- Why? - Well,
- 为什么? - 嗯
he actually was fine, and then I set up this darkroom...
其实他还好 那之后我搭建了暗室...
and he thought I was, like, squandering all this time on silliness
他认为我 大概是 在这蠢事上浪费了所有的时间
and I guess he had a point, but...
我觉得他说对了 但是...
I mean, nowadays, who uses a Kodak anymore?
我的意思是 现在谁还用胶卷啊?
It's a little Kodak, and I have to tell you something, it is fantas...
那个小柯达 我得告诉你 它太棒了...
It is so simple to use. It's, it's tiny!
用起来很简单 还很袖珍!
I picked it up at, like, a garage sale...
我拿着它 就好像 是个二手货...
and it just is so much better than those big foreign ones.
但它比那些外国的大家伙都好用的多
No, they're pretty good. They've got a real...
不 这个才好 它们有真正的...
haunting quality. They're very primitive.
捕捉镜头的素质 这太有艺术感了
I really think you should talk to my friend Al Morgenstern.
我认为你该和我朋友Al Morgenstern交流交流
He runs a photography gallery.
他开家摄影馆
- Why? - Have you got more of these?
- 为什么? - 你还有更多照片吗?
Oh, Lord, yes. You know, all my travels with the pageants.
哦 上帝 有 所有选美比赛的旅程
I have the kids and the towns and the winners. And the losers!
我拍了孩子 小镇 冠军 还有失败者!
The losers are the best. And then I have all these show folk,
失败者拍得最棒 还有那些展示民间艺术的
the twirlers, the magicians,
乐队指挥 魔术师
the fire eaters, you know, things like that.
吞火人之类的人
They're amazing. They've got such an original quality.
它们太棒了 你捕捉到了如此原始的特色
I'll talk to Al first thing in the morning.
我会一早先和Al谈谈
Oh, no. You know, I think you're making too much...
哦 不 知道吗 我觉得你做的太多了...
over a little gift the good Lord Jesus gave me.
超越了我主耶稣赐给我的小礼物
That's not the only gift he gave you.
那不是他给你的唯一礼物
You know those clean-cut,
你知道吗？那些帅气的
churchgoing young men, who are model kids,
常去教堂的
and good to their neighbors and quote the Bible,
对邻居很好而且常引用圣经说话的
and never do a wrong thing, and then one day,
从不做错事的模范小孩也会在某天
for whatever reason,
因为某种原因
they grab a rifle, go to a tower and pick off everyone in town?
拿把步枪 走到塔顶 杀掉镇子的所有人
Okay, this is her, but sexually.
好了 这就是她 很性感
She slept with Leo Brockman,
她和Leo Brockman一起睡了
never having been to bed with anyone before but her husband,
在这之前 除了她丈夫 她没和任何人睡过
and suddenly, the genie was outta the bottle!
突然间 精灵不再备受约束!
She liked sleeping with Brockman,
她喜欢和Brockman一起睡
and she liked sleeping with Brockman's friends,
她还喜欢同Brockman的朋友们睡
Brockman's acquaintances, Brockman's acquaintances' acquaintances.
以及Brockman的熟人 Brockman熟人的熟人
Brockman took her photos to Morgenstern. He loved them.
Brockman带着她的照片找Morgenstern 他也喜欢这些照片
He decided to show them in his gallery.
他还决定在展览馆里展示出来
When he did, evectone thought they were great. A brilliant primitive.
当展示出来时 每个人都觉得拍的很棒 杰出的作品
Soon Morgenstern would become smitten with her.
不久后Morgenstern就为她神魂颠倒
First she moved in with Brockman. Then she moved in with Morgenstern.
她先搬进了Brockman家 之后又搬进了Morgenstern家
Then she moved in with Brockman and Morgenstern.
再后来她搬去同Brockman与Morgenstern一起睡
She started dabbling with collages.
她开始涉猎拼贴画
Small ones at first, but they would become bolder.
一开始很小范围 后来逐渐大胆起来
She started dressing differently.
她开始做不同风格的打扮
Soon all her deep-rooted beliefs went right down the toilet,
不久 所有她从前根深蒂固的信仰
where they belonged.
都被彻底丢到脑后
She experimented with exotic pleasures, a new Marietta was born.
她体会了具有异国情调的欢愉 一个全新的Marietta诞生了
The one thing that remained constant, she hated her son-in-law.
有一件事却没变 她讨厌她的女婿
Well, there's some pictures over there.
哦 那里有些照片
Oh, yes, maybe that. Okay.
哦 是的 也许那张行
What'd you think, Mom?
你觉得怎么样 妈妈?
I'm not sure, you know, it's for this collage,
我不确定 我要用来做拼接的
and I've had this vision in black and white of nude men, women,
我已经看到那个画面 黑白色调的裸体男女
body parts, squares.
肢体 方形的
That sounds confusing.
听起来好混乱
- Well, it's an homage to lust. Yeah. - To lust.
- 哦 这是对欲望的一种敬意 是的 - 欲望
Excuse me.
打扰了
Hi, I need a female opinion.
嗨 我需要一个女性的意见
Which of these two would a young woman prefer? I can't decide.
年轻女人会喜欢两个中的哪个? 我抉择不了
I don't know. They're both so beautiful.
我不知道 她们都很漂亮
It depends. What type is she?
不一定 她是什么类型的?
Well, she's quite young and very lovely-looking.
嗯 她很年轻也很漂亮
Blonde hair. Blue eyes.
金头发 蓝眼睛
Yeah, but what's she like?
是 她喜欢什么?
Well, okay... um. She's from the South,
嗯 好吧... 嗯 她来自南方
although she lives here in New York now.
虽然她现在住在纽约
- Really? - Yeah.
- 真的吗? - 是的
And she's a nanny. I mean, well, to tell you the truth,
她是个保姆 我是说 嗯 说实话
she's actually living with some man.
事实上她和某个男人住在一起
I mean, they're married, although he's not the best she can do.
我的意思是 他们结婚了 虽然男人不配她
And she thinks she loves him, but it's only because...
但她觉得她爱他 不过只因为...
she mistakes his pessimistic despair for wisdom,
她误将他的消极绝望当成了智慧的体现
believing he's a genius.
相信他是天才
I'd say she's more of a nurse to him than a wife,
我得说 作为妻子 她更像保姆
because he's much older than she is.
他比她年长很多
That sounds so familiar.
听起来很耳熟
I just can't... I can't put my finger on it.
我没法... 我弄不清楚了
- It's sorta like mine, actually. Yeah. - It is?
- 是的 事实上听起来像我 - 是吗? - 是
I mean, not exactly, but I can't help but seeing some similarities.
我不确定 帮不了你 看起来有点相似
- I'd say that one. - Okay.
- 我选这个 - 好的
Here.
给
- Here what? For me? - It's for you.
- 给什么? - 这个送你 - 送我?
Yes, I thought I'd buy you something lovely.
是啊 我想给你买点可爱的东西
Oh, no, I can't accept a gift from a stranger.
不 不行 我不能接受陌生人的礼物
- Well, why not? - I'm married.
- 好吧 为什么不? - 我结婚了
Yes, but it may not last forever.
是的 但不会恒久
Well, you know, nothing lasts forever. Not even...
好吧 你知道 没什么能恒久 甚至...
Shakespeare or Michelangelo
莎士比亚 或 米开朗琪罗
or Greek people.
或希腊人
I mean, even as we're standing here talking right now,
我指 正如我们站这聊天
we're just flying apart at an unimaginable speed.
我们也会很快分开
- Gee, I never thought of it that way. - Yeah.
- 天啊 我从没这么想过 - 是啊
Should we be holding each other so we don't fall?
我们能抓住彼此而不倒吗?
Well, you have to hold onto whatever love you can in this cruel existence.
好吧 残酷的事实是你必须抓住你所爱的
Speaking of love,
谈到爱
I've been in love with you ever since that first moment I saw you,
我第一次见到你就爱上你了
and met your mother at the Mogador Café many months ago.
- 几个月以前在Mogador咖啡吧里遇到了你妈妈 - 妈妈?
Oh, you're... You're...
哦 你是... 你是...
- Did my mother... - Randy James.
- 我妈妈... - Randy James
Oh, the actor! Of course. I can hear your accent now.
哦 那个演员! 是啊 我听出你口音了
Oh, my mother talks about you all the time,
天啊 我妈妈一直在谈你
and she's always telling me I have to meet you...
她总告诉我 我该见你...
and I'm saying, "Why? Why do I have to meet him?"
我说 "为什么? 我为什么要见他?"
"But he's so good-looking!" And, yeah, you are.
"因为他很帅!" 是的 你确实是
Thank you. I've moved to New York permanently now...
谢谢 我现在久居纽约了...
and I live in a houseboat with a friend of mine.
我居住在我朋友的游艇里
- You live on a boat? - Yes, I do.
- 你住船上? - 是的
I'm very romantic by nature, so I live on a boat...
天生浪漫 所以我住船上...
and I read and think and play my flute...
看书 思考 吹笛子...
- Mom? - Oh, be still, Melody.
- 妈妈? - 哦 我在这 Melody
There's nothing wrong with expanding your horizons.
开阔你的眼界没什么不对
I certainly expanded mine.
我开阔了我的
You know what? I'm really sorry, but I...
你知道吗? 我真的很抱歉, 但是我...
I think that my mother badly gave you the wrong impression,
我想我妈妈使你误会了
because I'm happily married.
我婚姻很幸福
No, no, no, no, no, no, she's not, Randy.
不 不 不 不 她没有 Randy
She's nursemaid to a roach. He is.
她像保姆 他是
Goodbye, Mother. Goodbye, Mr. James.
再见 妈妈 再见 James先生
I told you you'd get the hang of it.
我告诉你 你得找到诀窍
Okay, you know what? Let's just stop. Let's stop.
好吧 我们停 停下
- Stop? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, stop, stop.
- 停? - 对 对 对 停 停
- Yeah. - All right.
- 是 - 好的
I need to sit, for... for a minute.
我得坐一会
You know, I'm just doing it for the aerobics, anyway.
其实 我只在健身房骑过这个
Otherwise, it's moronic.
在外面骑很傻
I think it's relaxing.
我觉得很放松啊
Relaxing? What? Are you kidding? It's too nerve-wracking.
放松? 什么? 你在开玩笑吗? 把精力放在骑自行车上
To mingle with all those sub-mentals on bicycles? It's like driving a car.
也太令人头疼了 就像开车
Those hostile, belligerent morons all get driver's licenses.
连那些智障低能儿都拿到了驾照
Of course, to have children, you don't need a license. No proof of anything.
当然 生孩子的话 你不需要证书 也不用证明任何事
You need a license to fish. You need a license to be a barber.
钓鱼需要钓鱼证 理发需要理发师证
You need a license to sell hot dogs.
卖热狗需要卖热狗的证
You know, you read about these poor kids, beaten and starved,
你看这些可怜的孩子 忍饥挨饿
you wonder, why... why are these parents allowed to even have them?
你会想 为什么... 为什么这些家长要生他们?
Okay, Boris, Boris.
好吧 Boris Boris
You know, sometimes I think you're so determined...
你知道 有时候我觉得你太片面了...
not to enjoy anything in life,
不享受生活中的一切
just outta spite.
总是赌气
You know, like a child who's throwing a tantrum,
你知道 像孩子耍脾气
because he can't have his own way.
因为他不能随心所欲
Wow! Listen to you!
哇! 瞧你说的!
That's a reasonably wise insight for a simple-minded type like yourself.
难道就像你那样 头脑简单
Honestly. Yeah, you surprise and delight me sometimes, you know that?
说实话 没错 你总能给我带来惊讶和喜悦 你知道吗?
I really don't know what I'd do without you, seriously.
说真的 我不知道失去你该怎么办
What're you doing with that?
你在干嘛?
This? Nothing. I just got it at the flea market.
这个? 没什么 我在跳蚤市场买的
- Who needs an antique handkerchief? - I thought it was pretty.
- 谁需要这古色古香的手帕? - 我觉得很漂亮
Yeah, but God knows throughout history who blew his nose in it.
是的 只有上帝知道谁至今用它擤鼻子
- Marietta? Honey? - Yes, darling?
- Marietta? 甜心? - 是 亲爱的?
I think you should include these photos at your opening next week.
我想下个星期开张应该挂这些照片
I love those photos. Al, what'd you think?
我喜欢那些照片 Al 你觉得怎么样?
I chose those.
我选那些
- Oh, you did? - Absolutely.
- 哦 是吗? - 当然
- Sweetheart, you've managed to make... - Thank you.
- 甜心 你之前... - 谢谢
an existential statement about...
做的关于...
- sexual perversity and human freedom. - Who? Yes.
- 性变态和人类自由的展出 - 谁? 是的
- It's so full of erotic imagination. - Okay, hold on a sec.
- 极富色情想象力 - 好吧 等一下
- Oh, thank you so much! Thank you! - Marietta?
- 哦 太感谢你了! 谢谢! - Marietta?
- Who is it? - Somebody named Randy Jones?
- 是谁? - 名叫Randy Jones?
Oh, Randy, Randy James.
哦 Randy Randy James.
Hello? Hello? Hey!
喂? 喂? 嘿!
Young man, hello, hello!
年轻人 喂 喂!
Listen, she's going to be at Uniqlo at around three.
听着 她三点左右会去Uniqlo
You can run into her and try your luck.
你能碰上她 试试运气
You know, she saved the handkerchief you gave her,
你知道 她保留了你给她的手帕
so it's not a hopeless cause.
不是没有希望的
And I'm telling you, I saw fire behind her eyes.
我告诉你 我看见她的眼睛里隐藏的火花
Fire. Yeah. Good luck, darling.
火花 是的 好运 亲爱的
- Who was that? - Oh, nothing. Come on, gumbo! Let's go.
- 那是谁? - 哦 没什么 快点 浓汤! 动手
Who'd have ever thought that gumbo would become my favorite dinner?
谁能想到浓汤会成为我最爱的晚餐?
All this and she cooks, too.
她做的我都喜欢
Oh, my God! Hello.
哦 我的天啊! 你好
So I guess you just happened to be shopping here. Right?
我猜你是恰好在这附近购物 对吗?
Well, I was buying this shirt, if you must know.
好吧 如果你非要知道 我买了这件衣服
You like it?
你觉得怎样?
- It's okay. - Just okay?
- 还行 - 就还行?
I thought it'd make me look dashing.
我还觉得它让我看起来有活力
Looks aren't your problem.
外表并不是你的问题
Oh, no? What is?
哦 不是? 那是什么?
You're too forward.
你太缠人了
- I think about you a lot. - Well, I don't think about you.
- 我总想你 - 但我不想你
So what's it like being married to a genius?
嫁给天才是什么样的感觉?
Who wants to know?
你想知道?
I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a boor, I just...
我很抱歉 我不是个粗人 只是...
Just that, well, you know.
就那样 你知道吧
It has its pluses and minuses.
有好有劣
Yes? And what are the drawbacks?
是嘛? 劣势是什么?
I don't know. I mean...
我不知道 我指...
Well, naturally, with a very advanced mind,
好吧 有个天生的聪慧的头脑
you find a lotta things wrong with everything...
你会发现所有事情都不完美...
and, mainly, he just doesn't like people.
关键是 他不喜欢人类
You know, he says at the rate they're going,
他说按照正常的情况
they're going to make themselves extinct.
人类总会自己灭亡的
Right.
好吧
It can just be exhausting being around a genius all the time.
和天才在一起总觉得很累
So what are the pluses of being the wife of such a dazzling mind?
嫁给这样人的好处是什么?
- Well, he's smart. - You said that.
- 好吧 他很机灵 - 你说过了
He's clever.
- 他很聪明 - 还有呢?
He really means well, you know? He's just a little crazy.
他真的还好 就是有点疯狂
I guess the good part is that I'm the wife of a genius,
好处是因为我是天才的妻子
which I never really thought I could swing.
我就不用想太多
Why not?
为什么不用?
I guess I thought I'd have to be smarter.
我想我会变聪明点
You want to see my boat? I mean, my friend's boat, where I live?
你想看我的船吗? 我是说 我住的地方 我朋友的船?
- I don't think that's a good idea. - I dreamt about you last night. I...
- 我不认为这是个好主意 - 我昨晚梦到你 我...
Don't use that line. Because Boris said that he dreamt about me last night.
别用那套 因为Boris也说他昨晚梦到我了
And I really doubt it's mathematically possible
我十分怀疑我
for me to be in two dreams at one time.
同一时间出现在两个梦里的可能性
It's down there, on the right-hand side.
就在下面 在右手边
Well, this is it. It's not much, but it's home and I don't pay rent, so...
好吧 就是这了 不是很大 但这是家 我不用付房租 因此...
This is kind of sweet, living on the water.
在水上居住很温馨
It rocks just the tiniest bit, so I sleep like a baby on it.
微波荡漾 我像个孩子似的躺上面
Randy, I don't know what I'm doing here! I'm married!
Randy 我都不知道我来这干嘛! 我已经结婚了!
That doesn't mean I can't have feelings for you.
那不意味着我不能对你有感觉啊
You don't really know me.
你不了解我
Yes, but I'm a romantic and I believe in love at first sight.
是的 但我很浪漫 相信一见钟情
Well, that's true. You know, Boris says that love isn't logical.
这倒是真的 Boris说爱情是不理智的
And I adore the way you talk and the funny things you say.
我喜欢你说话的方式和你讲的有趣的事情
Where can it lead?
那又如何?
Let's drink to love at first sight.
让我们为一见钟情喝一杯
I can't. When I drink, I get very silly and touchy and...
我不能 我一喝酒就会变得愚蠢和敏感 还有...
That's what your mum said. That's why I bought the bottle. She's quite a mum.
是你妈妈说的 所以我买了一瓶 她是个了不起的妈妈
Don't use that locution. It's for inchworms.
别这样说 这用来奉承小人的
Sorry.
抱歉
Is that you in the picture?
照片里的是你吗?
Yeah. That's me in Juno and the Paycock...
是的 是在演"Juno and Paycock"...
I bet you're a really good actor.
我打赌你是个好演员
I try. Although I'll never be a genius.
我努力了 虽然没天赋
You certainly are handsome enough to be a star.
你帅得足以成为明星
Thank you. I'll cherish that compliment.
谢谢你 我很珍惜那样的赞美
- Oh, my God. - What are you thinking?
- 哦 我的天啊 - 你怎么啦?
- Entropy. - Entropy?
- 熵(计算信息增量的算法之一) - 熵?
Yeah, entropy. Boris explained it.
是的 熵 Boris解释过
It's why you can't get the toothpaste back in the tube.
这就是为什么你无法把牙膏挤回去
You mean,
你是说
once something happens, it's difficult to put it back the way it was?
当一些事情发生了 就很难回到正轨?
I mean, Boris says love is all about luck.
Boris说爱情都是靠运气
I think so, too, but isn't that just because...
我也这样认为 但那不是因为...
we're young and we think we're gonna live forever...
我们年轻并且我们想永远生活在一起嘛...
and then we grow old and get diabetes, and...
可我们也会变老 会得糖尿病 会...
Maybe.
可能会
Look, I do agree there's not much you can be sure of in this world, but...
听着 我同意这世界有太多不确定性 但是...
Have you ever heard of Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle?
你听过海森伯的不确定原理吗?
I've heard of it, yeah.
是的 我听过
You know, the observer influences the experiment?
那你知不知道观测员会影响实验结果?
It's just like...
就像...
when my mother makes love to one of the guys she's living with...
我妈妈和与她居住的其中一个人做爱时...
a certain way when they're alone,
他们独处时固定的模式
but when she's in front of the other guy, she does it differently.
但当她面对另一个人时 她又是另一个样子
Is that Heisenberg?
这就是海森伯理论?
I had no idea he was so sexual.
我不知道他是那么的感性
Wait. I always carry some Viagra with me.
等等 我总是会带些壮阳药在身上
That's all right. I eat a lot of red meat.
没关系 我很强壮的
I really like the way these pants fit.
我真高兴裤子这么合适
Hey, are you okay? You seem awfully quiet lately.
嘿 你还好吗? 你最近太少话了
Yeah.
是的
We're going to be late for Mom's gallery opening.
我妈妈画展开幕 我们要迟到了
I hope you're not coming down with anything.
我希望你不要为此操心
You know, Brodsky's kid's got the measles.
Brodsky的孩子得了麻疹
Can you still get the measles? I had a shot when I was younger,
你还会得麻疹吗? 我年轻时候打针了
but how long does it last?
能管用多久?
Who's that?
谁在那?
I don't know. I'm not expecting anyone.
我不知道 我没约人啊
- Melody! - Daddy!
- Melody! - 爸爸!
Oh, my little girl, I found you!
哦 我的孩子 找到你了!
Oh, Lord, your mother and I searched and searched,
哦 上帝 你妈妈和我四处寻找
but then we ran out of leads.
但我们始终没有线索
I used every connection I had at the police force.
我用了警察局的各种关系
We even called the FBl! But you're okay.
我们甚至叫了FBI! 还好你很好
Things are going to be fine now. Your ordeal is over.
现在没事了 你的煎熬结束了
What ordeal?
什么煎熬?
You were abducted! Tell me if my theory is correct.
你被绑架了! 我说得没错吧
You were chloroformed by polygamous Mormons.
你被放荡的Mormons绑架了
They took you off to be someone's bride!
他们让你嫁给了某人!
I was not abducted. Didn't anybody read my letters?
我没被绑架 有人读了我的信吗?
Yeah, but I assumed you were forced to... to write them at gunpoint.
读了 但我以为你是被胁迫着... 在枪口下写的
- Who's this? - Who are you?
- 这是谁? - 你是谁?
- This is Boris, my husband. - Boris, your who?
- 这是Boris 我丈夫 - Boris 你的谁?
He's my husband. I'm Mrs. Boris Yellnikoff.
他是我丈夫 我是Boris Yellnikoff夫人
- Who are you? - I'm her husband.
- 你是谁? - 我是她丈夫
You want to pass out here or go in the living room?
你想出去还是进来?
Where's your mother?
你妈妈呢?
What do you care? You cheated on her and then...
你关心她吗? 你背叛了她 然后...
dumped her for Mandy Blackburn, of all people!
为了Mandy Blackburn把她甩了!
I made a terrible mistake, I committed the sin of self-indulgence.
我犯了致命的错误 我愿意承担自己放纵的恶果
I've come to beg your mother's forgiveness.
我来祈求你妈妈的原谅
- You might wanna rethink that, Daddy. - I want to see her.
- 爸爸 你得重新考虑一下 - 我想见她
I see death by culture shock.
我见过文化冲突导致结束
You can tell me, Melody, she has every right to hate me.
你得告诉我 Melody 她有权利恨我
And she does, believe me.
相信我 她确实恨你
I can handle the truth. Does she hate me?
我能应付 她恨我吗?
Well, it was a pretty awful thing you did with her best friend.
好吧 你与她最好的朋友做了非常可怕的事
Then she hates me?
那她恨我?
Yes, yes, she hates you! I can't stand this.
是的 她恨你! 我不能再忍了
I hate you and I just met you!
我刚见你 我也讨厌你!
Lord, you tell me this creature took you to bed?
上帝, 你要告诉我这家伙跟你上床了?
- No, no, no, no. Actually, she took me. - Yeah, when I met Boris, he hated sex.
- 不 没有 事实是她主动的 - 是的 我遇到Boris的时候 他不喜欢性
Yeah, think of it, Mr. Celestine. The absurd choreography,
是啊 想想Celestine先生 可笑的动作
like a sewing machine, up and down, up and down, up and down,
像缝纫机似的 上上下下的
toward what end? Making more children?
最后怎么样? 生更多孩子?
What the hell you're talking about?
你到底在说什么?
Reproducing the species over and over. Toward what goal?
一直制造生命 目的是什么?
Carrying out what moronic design?
执行什么愚蠢的计划?
- What happened to Mandy? - It was a mess, a nightmare.
- Mandy怎么样? - 一团糟 一场噩梦
Lord, I've sinned! Please forgive me.
上帝 我有罪! 请原谅我
Why do all the religious psychotics wind up...
为什么总以宗教形式收场...
praying at my doorstep? Can you tell me?
在我门阶上祷告? 你能告诉我吗?
Lord, in Your infinite mercy, I've done wrong.
上帝 您大慈大悲 我做错了
- You wanna tell him, or should I? - Tell me what?
- 你想告诉他 还是我? - 告诉我什么?
Daddy, there's nobody out there!
爸爸 没别人在这儿!
Honest. You're praying to no one.
老实说 别演戏了
You're wasting your breath, just like you're gonna be wasting it on Mom.
你在浪费生命 就像你在浪费妈妈生命一样
What? You're telling me she met another man?
什么? 你是要告诉我她有别的男人了?
- Not just a man. - What?
- 不只是一个 - 什么?
Daddy, you couldn't expect her to not, you know,
父亲 你知道 你不能指望她不这样
move on with her life and, you know...
有她自己的生活 你知道的...
Oh, Lord. What's he like?
天啊 上帝 他长什么样?
He's got four arms and two noses.
他有四只手臂 两个鼻子
You better butt out, stranger!
你最好别插嘴 陌生人!
Melody will tell you I don't need my shotgun...
Melody会告诉你 我甚至不用拿出枪...
to be a whole passel of trouble.
就能解决这堆事
Now, I wanna see Marietta!
现在 我要见Marietta!
Now, Dad, try and remember, you haven't seen Mom in a year.
爸爸 试想想 你有一年没见妈妈了
A year is not forever. How much can a person change?
一年又不是永远 一个人能变多少?
And with that, they entered the gallery.
话音刚落 他们就进了画廊
I had more people than I knew what to do with.
我认识很多人都这样
Everybody said, "I'll be naked with you, Marietta!" And I was like, "Okay".
每个人都说, " Marietta 我想和你在一起!" 我会说 "好啊"
Oh, my God.
哦 我的天啊
Marietta?
John Celestine! Look what the cat dragged in.
John Celestine! 看看谁来了
- Marietta, what happened to you? - Oh, my God!
- Marietta 你怎么了? - 哦 天啊!
Well, darling, it's you that absconded.
亲爱的 失踪的那个人是你
- He showed up at the door today. - Whoa, whoa".Absconded"?
- 他今天出现在门口 - 哇 哇 "失踪"?
Yes, yes, with the promiscuous whore...
是啊 是的 和个...
- who called herself my best friend. - Darling, I'll be...
- 自称是我最好的朋友的荡妇 - 亲爱的 我来...
I'll find you. Excuse me. Pardon me.
我来找 很抱歉 原谅我
It's over, Marietta. Mandy and I were a terrible mistake.
都结束了 Marietta Mandy和我是个可怕的错误
I've come back for you.
我回来找你
Well, honey, I'm in the middle of my opening.
好吧 亲爱的 我的展览刚开始
Yeah, Dad, this is Mom's exhibition. Isn't it great?
哦对 爸爸 这是妈妈的展览 是不是很棒?
- Exhibition of what? - Well, the collages.
- 展览什么? - 什么都有
What? She's thinking of buying this pornography?
啥? 她要买下这些色情图片吗?
I got news for you, she's the pornographer.
不瞒你说 她正是这些色情图片的制作者
Marietta, who are you?
Marietta 我简直不认得你了?
John, you never understood me, honey.
John 你从未真正理解过我
Your vision never extended beyond the backyard.
你的视野仅仅局限于家中的后院之中
You always had your gun clubs and your fishing trips and football.
你醉心于玩弄枪支 外出垂钓 观看足球
You never took a little minute to find out about me.
但你未曾花过一分钟来关心我的内心世界
And you were always too busy putting her in pageants...
可是 你总是那么忙 让女儿参加各种露天演出...
and coaching her speeches and teaching her baton twirling!
训练她演说 教她如何使用指挥棒!
Yes, yes, that's true. I was sublimating my own creative needs...
没错 没错 我是这样的 因为我要对自己的一些创意加以升华...
and forcing them on our daughter.
并让它们在我们的女儿身上得以实现
- You were what? - Yes, she was sublimating.
- 你都成啥了? - 没错 她是在升华
Sublimating.
升华
Honey, why don't you go on back to Mandy Blackburn?
亲爱的 你干吗不回到Mandy Blackburn身边去?
Her pygmy mentality is much closer to you now.
她和你非常相似 一样的脑残
- Much closer. - Yeah. Well, I can't go back to her.
- 非常相似 - 哎 不行了 我不会去她那里了
- Oh, why not? - She cast aspersions on my manhood.
- 哦 干吗不去? - 她伤害了我作为一个男人的自尊
What are we talking? Size? Duration? Erectile dysfunction?
你指的是什么? 不够大? 不够持久? 还是勃起障碍?
Would you mind your own business?
你少管闲事
Marietta, how could you forsake your own family?
Marietta 你怎么忍心抛弃自己的家庭呢?
I want us all back home to start over.
我们都回家吧 让我们重新开始
I'm a different woman, John.
John 我已经变了 不再是以前的那个Marietta
I can't believe what I'm seeing. I mean...
你的变化我确实有点不敢相信 你看...
Your clothes are different, your speech is a little more affected,
你的服装不一样了 你的说话方式变化更大
but deep down, I know you're the same...
但本质上 我想你不会改变...
pretty, small-town, God-fearing, churchgoing, pie-baking...
你依然漂亮 依然喜欢那个小镇 依然敬畏上帝并上教堂做祷告 依然爱做煎饼...
I'm living with two guys.
但我现在和两个男人同居
Girl Scout mom. You're what?
依然是我们女儿的妈妈 你说什么?
I'm an artist. I don't bake pies. I don't go to church.
我是一个艺术家 我不再做煎饼 我不再去教堂
I do collages, sculpture, photography.
我的创作领域包括拼贴画 雕刻 和摄影
I live in Manhattan with two men who I love
我同时爱上了两男 并在曼哈顿和他们生活在一起
in a very happy ménage à trois.
一是个非常幸福的三角家庭
- A what? - We all sleep together.
- 你说什么? - 我们都在一张床上睡觉
A ménage à trois.
三 角 家 庭
I knew we should never trust the goddamn French.
我早就知道 我绝不应该相信那些该死的法国佬
It's amazing, Melody.
跟你说个很意思的事情 Melody
Thousands of years ago, ancient peoples, Egyptians, Romans, Mayans,
几千年前的古人 像埃及人 罗马人 玛雅人
were walking home, just like us,
都是走着回家的 就像我们现在这样
discussing where should they eat or making small talk.
他们一路上谈论该到哪里吃饭什么的
"Hey, we just bought a great house on the Nile with a yard,
"嗨 我们刚买了座漂亮的房子 在尼罗河边上 有个院子"
"overlooking the Pharaoh's new pyramid".
"可以俯瞰法老新建的金字塔呢"
- Boris... - Or, "My, my physician says...
- Boris... - 或者说 "医生告诉我...
"peacock tongues are bad for your heart".
"吃孔雀舌头对我的心脏不好"
Boris...
Or, "I'm worried I can't get my kid into a really good Aztec preschool".
或者说 "我很担心 不知小孩能不能到一个真正好的阿兹特克学前学校就读"
What the hell does it all mean now? Zilch.
他们讲的这些东西现在还有意义吗? 毫无意义
But they thought it was important.
但在当时 他们觉得非常重要
Boris, can I talk to you for a minute?
Boris 我有话要跟你说
And I was raised in a religious home.
我在一个基督家族中长大
Job's wife was my favorite character in the Bible, because she chose death
圣经中乔布的妻子是我最喜欢的人物 因为她宁愿去死
rather than obsequious acceptance, like that masochist she married.
也不愿卑躬屈膝逆来顺受 和她那个受虐狂的丈夫很不一样
Boris, Boris, can we sit down for a second?
Boris Boris 我们坐一会儿吧?
Well, but we have to go home.
嗯 我们得赶回家呀
I know, but come here. I have to say something.
我知道 但我有话跟你说 坐这吧
But we always go home now.
但这个时候我们平时从不坐下聊天啊
I know. I know. I know we have a standard routine.
我知道 我知道 按惯例我们这时候是走路回家
I need to have my drink, and a shower.
我要回家喝点酒 冲个澡
And, you know, you see it as routine,
你也知道 这已经是我的习惯了
but for me the consistency helps keep me from becoming unnerved.
生活上的连惯性 可以让我少一些焦虑和不安
I know you require a certain ritual.
我明白 你喜欢生活中有一个固定的模式
And then after the shower, our dinner, but not crawfish pie again.
冲完澡 可以吃晚饭 但别再吃小龙虾饼了
I got indigestion from it last time. I thought I had thyroid cancer.
上回我就吃得消化不良了 我可能得甲状腺癌了
Boris, I met someone else. I've fallen in love.
Boris 我遇到了一个人 我爱上他了
And then some Beethoven, maybe some Schubert for a change, but, you know...
然后听听贝多芬 还可以换换口味听下舒伯特 不过...
You met someone else?
你遇到了别的男人?
I'm not saying I don't have very deep feelings for you. I do.
我不是要说我对你的感情不深厚 我对你是有深厚感情的
You met someone else?
你遇到了别的男人?
Yes.
是的
And you want us to live in a threesome, like your mother?
那你是想要建立一个三角家庭 就像你妈那样?
Boris, when you found me, I was very young.
Boris 你见到我时 我很年轻
You're still very young.
你现在也很年轻
Yes, but I've grown.
是的 但我在成长
I've grown so much. And mainly because of you.
我成长了许多 这主要是你的功劳
Yes, it's true. I have been very patient with your phenomenal ignorance.
没错 我一直都非常耐心地纠正你的那些惊人的无知
You can always count on me for anything.
如果你还用得着我 你还可以随时吩咐我
I just...
我只是...
I guess I'm at a very impressionable age, and I...
我这个年龄 可能很容易受外界影响 我...
I can't think of a way to say this well.
我不知该怎么解释才好
- You don't have to say it well. - I want to.
- 你不必解释什么 - 可是我想
I completely understand. I do.
我完全理解 真的
This does not run counter to my convictions that
我从来都深信
love relationships are almost invariably transient.
爱情几乎都是转瞬即逝的
I don't really think that's true if they're right.
如果我们之间的爱真的存在 我想我就不会爱上别的男人
Really? You have your own ideas?
是吗? 这是你自己思考而得到的结论吗?
Just a couple. You know, they're not very deep, but...
表面上我们是一对 但夫妻感情并不深厚...
As cruel as life is, I miss participating in the world.
但残酷的是 我因此与外界隔绝
And I even miss people, even the inchworms and the cretins,
我甚至与他人没有交往 哪怕是那些笨蛋与傻瓜
because I don't really think they're bad, I think they're just scared.
我想这些人其实并不坏 他们不过是受了点惊吓
I think you're making the correct decision.
我想你的决定是正确的
- Boris... - I mean it.
- Boris... - 我说的是心里话
I'm a profound and sensitive soul with an enormous grasp
我有一颗深邃而敏感的心灵
of the human condition.
我对人类的现实一览无遗
It was inevitable you would
不可避免地你最终会厌倦于
eventually grow tired of being so grossly overmatched.
生活在我这样高屋建瓴一览众山小的目光中
Greatness isn't easy to live with, even by someone of normal intelligence.
同伟人并不容易相处 更何况你的智力并未达到常人水平
You're upset. I don't expect you to understand. How could you?
你不高兴了 我并不期待得到你的理解 你怎么可能理解呢?
Believe me,
你要相信我
if I can understand quantum mechanics,
如果我能理解量子力学
I can certainly comprehend the thought process
那我一定能理解
of a sub-mental baton twirler.
一个弱智的乐队女指挥的思维方式
- Boris... - It's okay.
- Boris... - 我完全理解你
I knew this day would come. I really did.
我早就知道这一天会到来 真的
The universe is winding down. Why shouldn't we?
宇宙也在消亡 我们的关系咋就不能呢?
Again!
再来!
I'll have another, too.
我也再来一杯
She left me. Can you believe it?
她竟然抛弃了我 真是不敢相信
What am I talking about? I left her. She's alone.
我在说啥呢? 是我抛弃了她 她孤身一人
Now, no matter which way she turns in bed, she's got a husband.
现在不管用什么方式 只要她钻进我的被窝 她就可以得到一个丈夫
My wife left me, too.
我的妻子也离开了我
I'm sure she was beautiful, just like my wife.
我猜她一定很漂亮 就像我的妻子
Norman?
你是说Norman(男子名)?
Norman was gorgeous.
Norman太美了
He was the greatest runway model Versace ever had.
他曾是范思哲公司拥有的T型舞台上最好的服装模特
I thought you said your wife.
我还以为你是在说你妻子呢
We were married in Holland.
我们在荷兰结的婚
You married a guy?
你跟一个男人结婚?
What else?
不可以吗?
But that would make you...
但这会让你...
What? A widow? Norman didn't die.
怎样? 变成寡妇? Norman并没死
Not a widow, a...
不是寡妇 是...
- Gay? - A member of the...
- 同性恋? - 一个...
Ofwhat?
一个什么?
The homosexual persuasion.
一个信仰同性恋者
My God.
我的老天
You make it sound like a religion.
你弄得我们像一个宗教团体了
Yes. If it's a religion, you could call me devout. A fanatic.
不错 如果我们是一个宗教团体的话 我便是其中虔诚狂热的一员
But that's a sin against God's law.
但在神律中这是犯罪呀
God is gay.
上帝也是同性恋者
He can't be. He made the whole universe perfect.
不可能 整个宇宙都因他的造化而完美
The oceans, the skies, the beautiful flowers, the trees everywhere.
海洋 天空 花草 树林 一切的一切
That's right. He's a decorator.
没错 他是个装修匠
But what do you miss about him? I still don't get it.
但他有什么东西值得你思念呢? 你还没说呢
Everything.
他的一切
His face.
他的脸庞
His kindness, his sense of humor.
他的善良 他的幽默
Our mutual passion.
我们共同的激情
The way we'd dance and he'd dip me back and kiss me.
我们跳舞的样子 他依偎着我吻我的样子
Jesus.
天哪
Why did he leave you? She leave you. Norman.
他干吗离开你? 我是说Norman干吗离开你?
He wants to live in Paris, and I can't leave my sick mother.
他要住在巴黎 而我不愿离开病中的母亲
Is your mother a woman?
你母亲是女的吗?
She used to look like Marlene Dietrich.
她年青时像Marlene Dietrich(性感影星)
What's the difference? They all hurt you in the end, every woman,
我看结果都一样 女人最终都会让你痛苦
whether they're male or female.
不管她是同性女人还是异性女人
Why did yours leave you?
你的那位为何离开你?
I left her for her best friend, but it didn't work out.
我离家去追求她最要好的一位朋友 可是没有结果
Why not?
怎么会没结果呢?
Can I be perfectly frank with you?
我可以坦白地跟你说吗?
I don't shock easily.
我不会轻易被吓着的
I couldn't make love to her.
我无法跟她做爱
Why not?
为何?
It was fine at first, but then I lost interest, I wanted Marietta back.
起先还可以 但后来我就没性趣了 我想念Marietta了
Which is funny, because in the last years,
这事有点滑稽 因为最近几年中
I really didn't have a lotta sexual interest in Marietta.
事实上我对Marietta也性趣不多
That happens with you heteros. We always have interest.
异性恋经常这样 我们从来都不缺性趣
Christ, if I'm going to be honest,
我的老天 说实话
you know, I never, ever really had a burning sexual desire for Marietta.
我从来不曾对Marietta有过欲火中烧的那种感觉
Why'd you marry her?
那你干吗和她结婚?
It was the thing to do. Everybody where I lived,
这是必须做的事 我所在的地方
you had a wife and children and...
每个人都得结婚生子...
Can I really level with you?
我真的可以和你说真话吗?
Of course.
当然可以
John John Celestine John. John Celestine.
Of course, John. I'm Howard Cummings, nee Kaminsky.
当然可以 John 我叫Howard Cummings 以前姓Kaminsky
I married Marietta, because I was afraid.
我跟Marietta结婚是因为我心中害怕
Of what?
怕什么?
The way I felt towards the tight end on the football team.
足球比赛快结束时的紧张气氛让我害怕
No.
不会吧
Every time he got in the line of scrimmage and bent over.
每当球员冲进争球线俯身抢球时 我就害怕得要死
Bartender, another round for my friend and me, please.
伙计 请给我和我的朋友再来一轮酒
Can you believe I blew it twice?
我跳窗两次了 你相信吗?
I jumped out the window and landed on a woman walking her dog.
我跳出窗外 压在一个正在溜狗的女人身上
She got hurt. I got off scot-free.
她受了伤 我安然无恙
Don't you realize the consequences of your actions impact on other people?
你有没有想过你的行为给别人带来的后果?
- Oh, come on. Seriously. - No. What if you had committed suicide?
- 哦 这个问题太严肃了吧? - 当然要严肃点 如果你自杀成功了我该怎么办?
Think, think if you didn't exist, how the world...
你想一想 如果你当时真的死去...
would suddenly change in ways you can't imagine.
却留下别人来承受这飞来横祸 你有想过吗?
Oh, my God. You know what?
我的老天 你以为自己能懂多少呀?
You sound like that movie they ram down your throat every Christmas.
你以为现在是向小朋友们灌输基督教义的圣诞节吗?
- What? - What if the guardian angel...
- 你说什么? - 假如老天爷...
had saved Jimmy Stewart,
没让Jimmy Stewart(电影明星)都华死去
and Jimmy Stewart was the guy who smoked in bed,
Jimmy Stewart就会继续躲在被窝里抽烟
and he lived and caused a fire that killed 60 people? So?
而正是他的活着才引发了一场烧死60人的大火 对此你作何感想呢?
How about that? Everybody's life is still worth saving?
有何感想? 难道每个生命都值得拯救吗?
Even if it's Christmas? Come on, seriously.
难道因为圣诞节就得救人吗? 你不妨再认真想想
You must have a very dim view of the human race.
你对人类的看法过于悲观了
Oh, the human race. They've had to install automatic toilets in public restrooms,
你说人类吗? 他们在公共厕所中安装了自动冲水的马桶
because people can't be entrusted to flush a toilet.
人们从此丧失了冲马桶的权利
Come on, flushing a toilet! They can't even flush a toilet!
你看看 冲马桶这样小的事情 但人类已经不会做了!
Visiting time is over.
探访时间结束了吧?
- What? You're kicking me out? - Yeah.
- 怎么? 你要赶我走? - 没错
- Seriously? - Yeah. Absolutely.
- 真的吗? - 绝不骗你
All right, listen. Honestly, I'm really sorry about all this
好吧 不过说心里话 我真的为自己所造成的后果感到很抱歉
and is there anything I can do to make this up to you?
如果我还能做点什么能够补偿你的 你就尽管吩咐吧
Can I get you something? What can I do?
要我买点什么吗? 或者还要我做点别的吗?
If I can ever walk again, you can buy me dinner.
如果我还能走路 你可以给我买晚餐
What do you do, Helena?
你做什么工作的 Helena?
Me? I'm a psychic.
我? 我给人家算命
I'm sorry. Really?
不好意思 你不开玩笑吧?
I was born with a very rare gift. I can see into the future.
我天生有些特异功能 我能够预知未来
If you can see into the future, how come you didn't know
如果你真能够预知未来 你怎么会不知道
I was gonna jump out a building and land on top of you?
我将要跳楼并会压在你身上?
Maybe I did.
也许我知道呢
Happy new year to you.
新年快乐
We're so excited. Howard is selling the gym,
我们太兴奋了 Howard准备卖掉健身房
but we're going to open up an antique shop in Chelsea.
不过我们准备在切尔西开一家古玩店
Yeah. Art deco. We're going to have a wonderful collection of movie posters.
嗯 是装饰艺术 我们将收集大量精彩的电影海报
Can you believe this cracker? This red state Neanderthal?
你能相信吗? 一个原本极端传统的人会变成同性恋者吗?
This mindless zombie of the National Rifle Association?
你相信一个全美步枪协会的傻蛋成员会变得如此伶俐吗?
My shrink says that the guns were all a manifestation of my sexual inadequacy.
心理医生告诉我 玩枪是我性功能不全的一种曲折反映
Yeah, if it weren't for sexual inadequacy,
看来 如果大家都性功能正常
the National Rifle Association would go broke.
全美步枪协会得关门了
He's moved in with Howard Cummings, nee Kaminsky.
他已经跟Howard Cummings住一起了
And not only is he sleeping with a man, soon he'll be celebrating Purim.
不仅是跟一个男人睡在一起 而且很快他就能真正体验到寻欢作乐的感觉了
More important, for the first time in his adult life, he's happy.
更重要的是 他人生第一次体验到了成人的性福
I should have known why I was failing you, Marietta,
我早该明白自己辜负于你的原因了 Marietta
not fulfilling your womanly needs.
因为我不能满足你的性需求
Which turned out to be quite considerable.
这是一个非常值得思考的问题
Mine, too, but not with the sex I'd been raised to be attracted to.
其实我的性需求也未得到满足 只不过这个性已经不是父母给我的那个性了
You're like a changed man, John. Your whole personality is sunnier.
你像是变了一个人了 John 你现在性情开朗多了
If only it had been that way.
你要是早这样就好了
I couldn't when I was making love to you. I was a square peg in a round hole,
以前跟你做爱时我的性情无法开朗 我们两个做爱就像是方棍子插在圆洞里
you should pardon the metaphor.
不好意思 这个比喻有点难听
Well, I just hope you 2 lucked out and found the right person in each other.
嗯 我衷心希望两位能够非常幸运地发现彼此的真实自我
I know I lucked out.
我想我就非常幸运
What about you, Boris?
你怎么样了 Boris?
As you would say in the crude fashion of your generation,
我以你们这代人所说的一种纯天然的方式
I totally lucked out.
也撞了大运
It just shows what meaningless blind chance the universe is.
这也正好说明 宇宙中充斥了无意义的和盲目标机遇
Everybody schemes and dreams to meet the right person,
人人都谋划着梦想着遇见那个想要的人
and I jump out a window and land on her. And a psychic yet!
而我则随便从楼上往下一跳就遇见了她 一个预言家!
I mean, come on, talk about the irrational heart,
嗨 现在轮到你们说说了 说点荒诞不经的疯狂事吧
not to mention I've developed a fondness for grits.
我可是刚刚干过一件从楼上直扑水泥地的趣事的
I have a question, am I a member of my generation?
我想问一下 我还能算是我们这一代人中的一员吗?
Yes. Don't worry. I'll explain it to you.
是的 别急 我会给你解释的
Hey, hey, hold on! Hold on! The ball's about to drop!
嗨 嗨 等一下! 等一下! 开始倒计时了!
Come on!
快来呀!
10 Ten,
9 nine,
8 7 eight, seven,
6 5 six, five,
4 3 four, three,
2 1! two, one!
Happy new year!
新年快乐!
I happen to hate New year's celebrations.
我曾经讨厌庆祝新年
Everybody desperate to have fun.
人人都疯了似地玩乐
Trying to celebrate in some pathetic little way.
他们用一种可怜而无聊的方式来庆祝新年
Celebrate what? A step closer to the grave?
庆祝什么? 庆祝离坟墓更近了一步?
That's why I can't say enough times, whatever love you can get and give,
正是新年让我说话的机会越来越少了 不管你能得到与付出怎样的爱
whatever happiness you can filch or provide,
不管你能获得与提供怎样的幸福
every temporary measure of grace, whatever works.
在每一个短暂的瞬间 一切皆有可能
And don't kid yourself, it's by no means all up to your own human ingenuity.
我不是笑话我们自己 人类的智力决不能摆平一切
A bigger part of your existence is luck than you'd like to admit.
你这一生中更多的时间里是幸运的 比你自己所能感受到的时间要多
Christ, you know the odds of your father's one sperm
嗯 你知道吗 你父亲的一个精子要从亿万之众里脱颖而出
from the billions, finding the single egg that made you?
并找到那个唯一的用来造就你的卵子该有多么困难?
Don't think about it, you'll have a panic attack.
还是别去想的好 否则你会被吓到的
Boris, what're you doing? Who you talking to?
Boris 你在做什么? 你在跟谁说话?
What? There's people out there watching us.
做什么? 你没看到有人在外面看着我们吗?
- They're out there? - Yeah, yeah, they're watching. What?
- 有人在外面看我们? - 没错 他们正看着呢 - 啥?
- Please, Boris... - You know...
- Boris 请你... - 你知道...
Well, there was when we started. I don't know how many are left.
哈 我们一来这里他们就在那了 我不知道现在还有多少人留在那儿
Does anybody see anybody out there?
有谁看到那边的人了吗?
- Out there? No! - No!
- 那边? 没有呀! - 没有!
- Boris! - No!
- Boris! - 没有!
See? I'm the only one who sees the whole picture.
看到了吧? 我是唯一一个能够看见全部的人
That's what they mean by genius.
所以 他们说我是天才
Come on. Happy new year, Boris.
快过来吧 新年快乐 Boris
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